Bend Over And Try This Boot On For Size

Singaporeans are a rude buncha morons.

Some stupid woman just lumbered up into my face on the train today. HELLOooo... Theres someone directly behind you. Its kinda rude to shove your huge hair into their face like they want to have a mouthful of it.... And furthermore, you smell like a medicated oil brewery, if its not obvious, YOU SMELL. So kindly fuck off from my prescence... Took a quite violent nudge from me to get her to notice she was being as welcome as a cockroach in the Shangri La. And she had the gall to give me a "you stupid rude oaf" look. Had i wasn't in a better mood today i would have let loose on her regardless of the number of people on the train.

Another fucked indian man was being a total fucking monkey. Stepped on the bus and stopped at the rear door and clung on to the pole like a sloth sucking on a moss covered branch. There are other people wanting to get on the bus too fuckhead. You standing there with a smug smile on your face at getting prime position to get off the bus first and blocking the rest of the way with your big baboon ass isnt something to be proud of. Talk about a face asking to be bitchslapped back to bombay...

What is it with these foreign people? The fucking Indian nationals that come over here with their fancy degrees think they're fucking maharajas... Oh i believe your coconut papers are such wonderful and great compared to degrees from Harvard and NUS. Eh... even a dylexsic person speaks better english than you. Fuck off la. Seriously, I wouldnt give two cents of a fuck to laying the smackdown on your bastard black ass. You can sit at a computer and type like a machine all day. BIG HAIRY DEAL. I don't see a need to worship you. And don't expect me to, unless you want to see my foot up your ass.

Do think twice before you try to fuck up my day.

Adios Tonto and that mule you came in on

For some reason, almond favoured coffee and a coupla smokes with a side of no sleep makes things seem very clear to me.

Adios big E~ Good riddance.

I need to start kicking some proverbial ass and get a few more beers.
Admit it. I'm a bastard, no point trying to be nice about it. For God's sake, what you see is what you get so if you don't like it then take your punk ass home.

Customers once again feel i'm an utter asshole. What would you expect? I'm not here for your amusement... you want that then go to the Zoo and see Ah Meng dance for a coconut. And yes, if you dont understand that in Inglese then I have some useful sign language for ya.

What is it with the stupid kids in the club???
Eh..... grow some pubic hair then come back to look for gals in the club you dumbass. I have leghair that has seen more action than you. You think you look cool in your long sleeve shirts and worn jeans? HAHAHAHA. Go to Little India MRT station at 7pm and you shall see your fellow Banglas all dressed like you. I'm very sure that would really impress the ladies. *nods vigorously*

Then I have to say it again... YOU ALL ARE FUCKING UGLY... a drunk skunk wouldnt touch your privates save to bite that little peanut off.

No money, no looks, no dress sense... what the fuck makes you think you're gonna get a gal here??? Cannot make it then fuck off... don't scare the ladies away from the bar. I want to have something to look at when i'm not busy. And you arent a blessed sight to see... especially when you're green like Donatello and look like a dead goldfish from drinking a jug of vodka orange or bourbon coke which is bascially the only thing you can handle. When i hand you the plastic bag its not for you to puke in it, its for you to cover your fugly face so i neednt see it dickweed.

Ladies.... like you wear those low tops for a reason... so don't bother acting coy and covering up with your hands when you bend over. Theres nothing there i havent seen before. And in the first place couldnt be bothered to see since most of you have nothing for me to look at. Why do you think i only face my ear to you??? Don;t flatter yourself.

Not speaking for the stupid gee-nas... I think they would prematurely ejaculate if you showed a bra strap. But yea... I've seen much more hardcore stuff already in my time working there. And why bother to pretend? U're sitting down... any guy comes over and looks down will get to see what you're displaying without the need for you to bend down. Sheesh... Make up your minds.

And don't expect me to say anything about what went down during the weekend. Don't care about it. Respect to those who were there. Apologise for the inconvenience. Next time drinks on me. To the rest.... buy your own drinks.

Fugliness

For once i was kinda looking forward to goin to work for some inane reason.

Wasn't that bad as it turned out... But WILL ALL THE FUGLY PEOPLE STAY AT HOME? In a club you're supposed to look good, not like Moby Dick's arse. If anyone of the customers who i gave an attitude to earlier are reading this.... Well... Its coz I can't bear to look at you and feel like slapping your face for being born like that. I finally understand that the 99% majority of customers are ugly people who go to clubs to hide in dim lighting as in broad daylight your faces would scare children. And you're brains are just as defective as your faces.

A few morons tried to hand me coupons during midnight madness... HA HA HA HA. Blatantly ignore them waving coupons at me like a bunch of homeless people with food stamps. Read the fucking plasma screens... BUY 1 GET 1 FREE. Not HAND IN COUPONS NOW. Eh... NO MONEY DON'T CLUB LA~ Go home and save a few months eating gardenia bread with sky juice then come here and drink. And its always the fugly ones that have no money... Can't blame them, i wouldnt want to give money to you bunch of defectives either. How bout that???

Its seriously much more enjoyable to fuck around with customers than give the "customer service" that we are "supposed" to give. To give them the small hope that i'll take their order after waiting so long only to dash their hopes by swerving off to do something totally unimportant like rearrange glasses. hahahahahahahhahaha. There was this guy who just unfortunately had a face i didnt like, waited for 15 min to try to get our attention, pretended i couldnt see him but immediately took the order of two ladies who appeared next to him and his gf. HAHAHA. Talk about looking malu. And oh yes i enjoyed making him look impotent in front of his gf.

Then there was this not bad looking chick who saw me singing along to Lil Jon's "Get Low" and started smiling at me and proceeded to plow right into some guy. Before I could react she zoomed off out of there. Hahahahahaha... Didn't i tell you i'm loved by all??? You know who you are... xp

I realised one thing... No matter how fucked up a girl dances, guys will still want to look. I saw this girl dancing like a spastic ostritch but yet counted 8 guys that were looking at her lower regions. And yes, i was looking too, and proceeded to be very puzzled why i would find it appeaaling. As long as the female moves the hips and butt, no matter how freakishly retarded it may look, guys will look and get filthy thoughts. We're just one step away from grunting and hobbling on all fours looking for bananas.

Heads up to all the horde... Next saturday is the annual fuck-up-yourselves shindig. Make your way down to sentosa costa sands or risk being in my leetle black book of scoundrels. This will be the biggest one yet i've organised so come on down. There may not be a next year. B.Y.O.B

A good friend got a job in a jap porn company. Like how fucking cool is that? His job is to place those mosiac thingies on the naughty bits of the videoes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... Where got so funny one??? And its a real job... WTF... I want one too. Like guy that mosiacs the mosiacs to fuck up your viewing pleasure even more. WAHAHAHAHAHA.

Music requirement for 15th

I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers

Per-kafta

Once again back from work and getting pestered by garfield for some unknown reason... bugger keeps licking my hands. Starting to suspect he likes alcohol and has been secretly drinking the vodka in my room... maybe the first owner of an alcoholic feline. Now I know why he can fall off the bed for no reason... He's drunk.

Well... once again the majority of customers at my work place annoyed me. There was a nice bunch that i served for awhile though. Funny bunch and very polite. The others were like mutant mosquitoes at a blood donation... just once would like to line them up in a row and bitch slap them like a buncha fugly dominoes. When i'm working don't wave your hand in my face and give me a loud irritated tone when you say excuse me. First of all, I'm doing something, and your waste of five digits isn't transparent... I need to see what i'm doing. If you think that will get you my attention you are correct, I will acknowledge you're in my space and i will turn around and take you just as transparent as you think your hand is. How would you like to have someone's sweaty palm waving in your face? And don't think i don't know... You guys don;t wash your hands when after the toilet. I've seen it before... after zipping up the first thing of all is to adjust your hair... so i get your toilet odour plus hair grease. Fuck off and die la.

Being irritated won't help either. In case you're all too blind with your shades on in a place as dark as Batman's underpants... we are a few catering to the many. Kinda obvious that you have to wait. Even if you were some minister's son i'd ask you to wait your turn or talk to my hand. You get irritated, i get even more irritated, and trust me you don't want to annoy the person making the drinks for you. I have a vial of esscence of roach hidden in my shirt pocket, don't make me use it.

And i still don't understand the mentality of these people.
You wanna talk with friends but you do it in the most bizarre fashion. You all stand in a circle like a buncha pre-pubescent boyscouts and do a conversation while conveniently jamming the whole passage way. What are you guys afraid of?? Making body contact with your friend or would you like me to pass you a buncha stone tipped wooden poles and lend you my lighter so you can dance around it chanting "ooga booga"? This isnt a campfire you brainless scrotums.

Plus you get annoyed when people wanna squeeze past you because they have no way esle to move. Some moron elbowed me while i was trying to get back to the bar earlier... and being me, i elbowed back... HARD. I don't give a shit if i'm an employee there, you touch me and i'll make sure you crawl out. Idiot who elbowed me stared at me when i elbowed back. As the way hokkien bengs would say "Kuah simi lan cheow???!! One to one ai mai???!"

Its been a while since i got into a fight. Don't mind hammering some idiot there either. There are a few that i just wanna slap for being born with such an ugly face.

I'm mean... who cares?

I can be very nice. But thats to people who deserve it. The rest of you can deal with the attitude... don't like it? No one asked you to come to me... t"t)

Slap nuts... it makes you a happier person. But not your own.