The Odyssey aka Nice Guys Can't Smell The Finish Line

I owe an apology... to the foolish bum of a good friend that naively agreed to go out for breakfast and coffee with me after work. Little did he know what we would be doing...

So... sorry dude for making you trek the thousand miles which we did.

It started off as some good old fashioned banter during a rare meet up which is mainly my fault due to my oh-so-busy schedule.I think the coffee we took was laced with marijuana... From joking about the faggots sitting next to us to just plain blasting each other verbally just for the entertainment. It seriously was good. Its been awhile since i had a cuppa and people-watched along Orchard Road. Well... after the matter of my goin to work was brought up, suddenly came the insane idea that could only be dreamt up by the Devil's own retarded twin... "Let's go for coffee and breakfast after i finish work!"

Ok... lemme tell you about my buddy first... He is not nicknamed "Polar Bear" for nothing by yours truely. He doesn't sleep. He HIBERNATES. So asking him to go without sleep for one entire night is like asking Dracula to go for a tanning session. Unfortunately the guy agreed... and thats where the Odyssey began...

After picking up something after work i picked him up in a cab at 5am plus in the morning and we headed to Al Ameen where we ate and decided that we had made a serious error... hahaha... Its the kinda time where after caffiene, you don't feel like sleeping but feel serious bored at the same time. So that gets you abit, as we call it in Singlish, "Sian". After an hour's dawdling at the coffeeshop another inane idea was brought up... "Let's take a damned long bus ride and sleep on the bus!" Bad move...

So the trek began...


it was a good 10 minutes trek across terrain like the Serengeti...




Check out how dead we were.... Old men tire easy what can i say?

Finally managed to get on a bus packed with people goin to work or kids goin to school.. can't remember how we were actually able to wake up at this sorta hour sling our asses on a bus when we were in their shoes...

I hate noisy school kids...



My friend falling asleep within the first 30 seconds of sitting down didnt help my insomnia...



So i decided to take depressive shots of the ride....



And the fucked up thing was... i only managed to fall asleep 10 minutes away from the end of the line.... And was greeted by this unfriendly light in the sky...



God, i feel like a vampire right now... We finally decided that it was not possible to walk till SMU opened its doors so we were in search of a place to lie down.

Is it me or does all the homeless on he island congregate at Marina Square to bed down? Or is it simply that Marina offers the best facilities for making your bedroom in public? Weird stuff you see when noone's about yet...

Anyway, we thought we found a nice spot till we realised why there wasnt a homeless guy sleeping around there... When the sky lit up with some electric lights and the dawning upon us that we were the only electric conductors within a fifty metre radius... You can imagine we got out of there in a hurry, despite someone's protests that there was no lightning....

We continued out trek and finally found.... SALVATION!



So we broke in and finally sat down on some mightily comfy chairs... Guess who slept almost immediately?



And the runner up?



For those who want to try this insane thing... Pack the essentials like the goose himself...



Ipod and a bag of dirty clothing... go homeless in style~

After the nice auntie at the cafe gave us our coffee, we felt kinda better as espresso ran thru our veins...



apparently thats not all that caffiene does to you as shown here:



Kids please seek parental consent to do this if you aren't above 20...

That was on thursday morning, friday night i had to go back to work...

I hate cheapskates. You all can go fucking kah nee nah buay chao chee bye go and kiss my white ass and sod off! When people are rushing to order during midnight madness so as to take advantage of the 1 for 1 offer, you fucktards show up and thrust coupons at me... eh... if it was my last day at work, i would have lined you all up in a row and slapped your faces like a bad domino game. People with cash are rushing and you guys rush also. FOR WHAT??? You won't lose out. You don't get free drinks so why are you rushing too? There can be only one answer... YOU ALL ARE A FLOCK OF RETARDED SHEEP. Everytime i have to bypass a PAYING customer for the sake of tapping a glass of beer for someone with a coupon i want to take that coupon and shove it up the person's nose and make him inhale it into his rectum. FUCK OFF.

I'm such a nice guy people say... people say that i will get good stuff for what i've done blah blah blah... girls say that my girlfriend would be very lucky blah blah blah... But who are you all trying to kid? If you can't lie for nuts then just shut the hell up... i feel like a cancer patient being comforted by zookeepers saying that i only have a bad case of cloven hoof.Its very well known that nice guys only get the girl in movies and have good stuff happen to them only in fairytales. So what you're saying only makes us want to punch your lights out and then bury u chin deep in fire ants.

We don't finish last.. we don't finish at all. But who cares? I will still be here when my cells die.