Something to Ponder
Am I the person i was 3 years ago? I've lost alot of me since then...
Finally I accepted conformity and unknowingly blended with the people I actually shunned... yea... I know, its kinda segregatory. I always wanted to be around people that were like me... the english educated, those who could laugh at grosteque contortions of the english language and could communicate at the same level as me... A language Hitler i was indeed. I took the chinese educated and the rest as second class citizens and now here i am tinkering in between the borders of my past and the transformation into the people i kept at bay thru my life...
Ah hah.... the irony of it all... to become what thou once hated. But now I'm worse, i'm an outcast. Between two worlds i will never really ever be part of anymore. Worse still... I've to decide to hold on to the edge or juz let go. I need time to arrange myself and do some soul searching... I've been taught that my brutal segregation was wrong, that i've been humbled by someone greeater than me.
And yet on another front.... a lady... that could turn me upside down with the bat of an eyelid and a look that would bring me to my knees. Someone who could do so much and yet do nothing... with my hands tied i can only stand at my position like a pawn in some huge chess game and wait for a back hand from the heavens to fling me in a direction... But after last night, whatever fair impression i had with her is probably gone due to my reckless alcohol fueled stupor. It seems almost as if that feather winged midget is toyin with me in this game of the heart. As my gates shut he snuck in and lowered the jaw bridge once more.... * swears vengeance*
Asked thang, the longest standing friend i've had, the eternal question...
What sort of person am i to you? The questions of all questions, fully capable of breaking bonds as old as decade or more. His answer surprised me as it was not exactly what i expected. Most would laugh o their grave on seein his answer which i shall not reveal here for fear of cardiac arrests among readers. Yea... after all this time... we are family. And we have each other's back. In the end when it all comes down... when you mess with one of us you mess with all of us.... its all about the bonds forged in rage and tempered in blood and tears that has held us together all these years... Amazing.
Finally I accepted conformity and unknowingly blended with the people I actually shunned... yea... I know, its kinda segregatory. I always wanted to be around people that were like me... the english educated, those who could laugh at grosteque contortions of the english language and could communicate at the same level as me... A language Hitler i was indeed. I took the chinese educated and the rest as second class citizens and now here i am tinkering in between the borders of my past and the transformation into the people i kept at bay thru my life...
Ah hah.... the irony of it all... to become what thou once hated. But now I'm worse, i'm an outcast. Between two worlds i will never really ever be part of anymore. Worse still... I've to decide to hold on to the edge or juz let go. I need time to arrange myself and do some soul searching... I've been taught that my brutal segregation was wrong, that i've been humbled by someone greeater than me.
And yet on another front.... a lady... that could turn me upside down with the bat of an eyelid and a look that would bring me to my knees. Someone who could do so much and yet do nothing... with my hands tied i can only stand at my position like a pawn in some huge chess game and wait for a back hand from the heavens to fling me in a direction... But after last night, whatever fair impression i had with her is probably gone due to my reckless alcohol fueled stupor. It seems almost as if that feather winged midget is toyin with me in this game of the heart. As my gates shut he snuck in and lowered the jaw bridge once more.... * swears vengeance*
Asked thang, the longest standing friend i've had, the eternal question...
What sort of person am i to you? The questions of all questions, fully capable of breaking bonds as old as decade or more. His answer surprised me as it was not exactly what i expected. Most would laugh o their grave on seein his answer which i shall not reveal here for fear of cardiac arrests among readers. Yea... after all this time... we are family. And we have each other's back. In the end when it all comes down... when you mess with one of us you mess with all of us.... its all about the bonds forged in rage and tempered in blood and tears that has held us together all these years... Amazing.
posted by The Science Of IoS at 4:18:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home