Aftermath...
Today went by slowly... couldnt bear to stay at home... Seems e weather was like me.
Grey...
So after collecting my marine stuff went straight to shermann's place... thought the both of us cld use company. One sick and down e other juz plain down...
Watched a vintage movie "Highlander"... It helped some and didnt help some... Managed to cheer up slightly with shermann's jokes abt e movie, but certain scenes juz brought back thoughts of her... Things were already bad enough when she didnt want to talk to me. Now this? Heaven really was playin ard w me today...
Where there isnt a sun to shine, at least a moon came out for me...
She's finally talkin to me... *Immense sigh of relief*
U cant imagine how happy i was at tt moment when tt "wat?" appeared in my msn...
K... now the problem is out... My old attitude prob again... One which i havent been botherin abt eversince NS. I never want to be a mean ass ogre... but sometimes e monster in me gets out. Yea... excuses right? But its e truth... I never want to be a monster esp to my friends, my family and her.
No matter what i have to say is no use. Same story. Actions prove louder than words.. I've really killed much of e relationship i guess... I dun want to lose anythin more. If she knew only how important she is to me... I'm not writing this for her or anyone to see... from e heart to e blog. So many things i find hard to express other than anger. Coz anger is the easiest to express i guess...
And well... theres fear... I still am scarred by my last relationship... truth is i was really hurt from tt betrayal. I fear a reprisal... I dun wish to doubt but e phobia's there. Muz conquer this if i'm to slay any other demons in myself.... This has been festerin in me for 3yrs now. And this is e 1st time tt it has seen daylight... feel kinda relieved actually... What i have kept hidden is out, finally...
Grey...
So after collecting my marine stuff went straight to shermann's place... thought the both of us cld use company. One sick and down e other juz plain down...
Watched a vintage movie "Highlander"... It helped some and didnt help some... Managed to cheer up slightly with shermann's jokes abt e movie, but certain scenes juz brought back thoughts of her... Things were already bad enough when she didnt want to talk to me. Now this? Heaven really was playin ard w me today...
Where there isnt a sun to shine, at least a moon came out for me...
She's finally talkin to me... *Immense sigh of relief*
U cant imagine how happy i was at tt moment when tt "wat?" appeared in my msn...
K... now the problem is out... My old attitude prob again... One which i havent been botherin abt eversince NS. I never want to be a mean ass ogre... but sometimes e monster in me gets out. Yea... excuses right? But its e truth... I never want to be a monster esp to my friends, my family and her.
No matter what i have to say is no use. Same story. Actions prove louder than words.. I've really killed much of e relationship i guess... I dun want to lose anythin more. If she knew only how important she is to me... I'm not writing this for her or anyone to see... from e heart to e blog. So many things i find hard to express other than anger. Coz anger is the easiest to express i guess...
And well... theres fear... I still am scarred by my last relationship... truth is i was really hurt from tt betrayal. I fear a reprisal... I dun wish to doubt but e phobia's there. Muz conquer this if i'm to slay any other demons in myself.... This has been festerin in me for 3yrs now. And this is e 1st time tt it has seen daylight... feel kinda relieved actually... What i have kept hidden is out, finally...
posted by The Science Of IoS at 8:48:00 PM
1 Comments:
Hey dude, gald i was of SOME help at least, Highlander or not...the cheering up worked both ways. =) really appreciate u coming all the way down and stuff. N if it means anything,i really hope u and ur gal work out. I've known u almost half my life... and i can say i know u better than most, n u'll be one helluva lad to her, juz perserve and keep working at it. No relationship that is strong is ez...so dun give up in something u believe so strongly in. I can tell u really adore her alot....so go for it. The previous one may haf been shitty and may haf left u with a sour taste. Believe me i know hoe it feels, but i can sense this time, things will be different. So i hope u take solace in the fact that i got ur back! May The Force Be With You, whenever u need it the most! cheers! and thx once again. =)
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