The Science Of IoS

Careless

2010-03-19T12:56:00.002+08:00

I will not fall anymore.

I have found what it means to be me again.

Monsters be damned... Angels abandoned be damned.

I deny it all.

Ugly

2010-02-04T22:25:00.003+08:00

Are you ugly?

a Liar like me?

a user of a lost soul, someone you don't know.

Money is no cure, a sickness so pure.

Are you like me?

Are you ugly?

We are dirt,

we are alone,

you know its far from over.

Look closer,

Are you like me?

Are you ugly?

Turn a blind eye.

Why do I deny?

Medicate me, so I die happy.

A strain of cancer,

it chokes the answers.

Are you like me?

A liar like me?

This is the future .... soon...

2009-07-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: _________________________

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Date: _______Time of departure: ________ NOT to exceed: __________ Time of return ___________

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer _______ Wine ________Liquor ________Total ________

Locations to be visited
Location: From: ____________ To: _________
Location: From: ____________ To: _________
Location: From: ____________ To: _________

Females with whom conversation is permitted * ______________________________________________
__________________________________________________ _____________

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: _____________
Request is: APPROVED / DENIED

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times. ………………………………………................................... .................................................. ..,.

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date: ____________ Time of departure: _____________

Time of return: __________________

Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: __________________________

this form is for the girls....?????

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

Name of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife: ____________________________________

I’m going out.

Signed: (me) _____________________________

My Darling

2009-06-10T23:27:00.002+08:00

If i were to talk about the crap that's out
That's the route you probably want me to take
Cuz your just dying to know what i think
And my take on some other people
If i was to say something about so and so or that that
You'd probably crap in your pants coz i'm like "fuck this, fuck that"
So i'd be unleashing verbal hell on yadda yadda
nope, i'm actualy cool and relaxed kinda bugger
But, but, But....
But i don't compete with nobody
I just go hard do the rope a dope ali shuffle
And dance around my opponents in donuts
Sometimes i play possom like I'm asleep it's awesome!
I'm like a sleeping giant and when i awake I'm like tyson
I just jump from outta no where and bite prey
And sink my teeth in and fill em' fulla poison
And make a noise like a snake before i kill em'
And let em' know i just don't feel em'
And smack em' with the backward hand called the bitch slap BAM
I was taught if your gonna murder somebody you should face em'
Tell em' why look em' dead in the eye then waste em'
And the dark shall emerge from the firey depths of hell
And swallow the shallow the hallow who dwell
In the shadows of all who are willing to sell there souls
For this life of a game and it ga ga goes.......

123 check,check 123, check 123
That aint the hook now follow me
There's nothing else for me to say
People adore me!
Everybody bores me they're just so corny
So at night before i sleep i look in the mirror
The mirror grows lips and it whispers come nearer....

"Ios i know your in there some where come here
Talk too me sit here pull up a chair why don't you cut your hair ha ha ha
Dye it back come on try it"

Ahhhh No i told you leave me the fuck alone will you!

"But I'm here to re-build you"

But i already killed you!

"But Ios we were meant for each other!
Think about your ex!"

Yeah so what of her ?

"Think about what she did to you and your life!
All the shit she put you thru!"

Fuck you motherfucker! I had you beat!

"No i was playin possom remember i let you and cherlyn blossom
I gave you enough time, your souls mine, im taking it back!"

You fucking bitch! why ?

"Because i love you look a little closer... Isn't that us in that picture?"

My darling, I don't ever want you to leave me my darling
You and me were meant to be together my darling
And if i can not have you then no one can your my darling
Coz i posses your soul, Your mind, Your heart and your body

"Ios listen you hear that ?
They're calling for you, i can bring you career back!"

But i don't want it back,

" Yes you do!"

No i don't!

"Yes you do! You're gonna regret it later.."

No i wont!

"I'm gettin Song on the phone, I'll just call the Songster

Go ahead i already talked to.. Song yesterday

"Well i got him on the phone right now "( Clint? )

You're lying ( Hey Clint? ) How ? Why? Now ?
Whats up Song ?
Check this out Clint i gotta talk to you
I dunno it just seems like ever since you got off your ass
you became alot softer!
But Song! All Ios is, is a bottle of hair dye and vodka!
Well just think about it Clint, I'm here!
Just hit me back and let me know what's up ?
Fuck this mirror! Ahhhh!

"I'm not in the mirror I'm inside you let me guide you!"

Fuck you! Die you son-of-a-bitch!

"Put the gun down!"

Bye bye!
(*gunshots* )
Ok im still alive!

"So am i too! You cant kill a spirit even if you tried to...
You sold your soul to me need i remind you ?
You remember that night you
Prayed to god you'd give anything to get that life? Well Zouk took you!
This is what you wanted your whole life Clinton right boo?
Look at your room! Look at your friends! I'm so nice ooooh!
Oh but you didn't know that fame has a price too ?
That your just now seeing the downside too!
Lose your good friend from secondary school, your girlfriends too!
Aint even sure if your friends like you!
Come off work cant even sleep at night without a drink
Think of the alcohol addicts start a rehab cycle
But together we can break the cycle
Clinton?"

WHAT!

"No ones gonna love you like i do!"

Impotentence

2008-11-24T20:57:00.002+08:00

What has become of society...

I sit up and think of it at night sometimes.

you see... there's a fine line separating civility and cowardice. There was a time when we knew what was wrong and weren't afraid to say it.

Now... its just "impolite" and "rude" to tell someone what's wrong or right.

Hey, i can be a polite guy... i can be the perfect gentlemen if i want to. But with what the word is today... how can anyone be? Thats why we've become the way we are.

Gandhi was a skinny ass anorexic... but he had the guts that would put one of our "tough as nails" machooooo commandos to shame. So what if you've got the balls for a fight. You can face the enemy but not the auntie that cuts in line and shoves some pregnant woman out of the way for the space. Does anyone speak up? Oh goodness that would be sooooo rude... just let her have her way and pretend it was a fart in the wind.

Where's our Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Malcolm X, Thomas Jefferson and so many others of the past that were true men of our time?

Just like our previous fart in the wind....

Every generation... we've become better and better.

in being cowards.

Its acceptable to stand in people's way when they're exiting the train or bus. Its polite to not give up your seat to the eldery or pregnant or shove for a space in a queue.

its rude to point out someone being obnoxious or just plain behaving bad.

what gives?

We're most in danger of......

2008-11-08T01:08:00.002+08:00

.... our moral stupidity.

Yes... not Osama, not Bush, not Mas Selamat and not your Mother-in-law.

Whats that you might ask.

Its the complete idiocy of human beings to do the right moral thing that our parents had hoped hours of moral education in school had instilled in us.

well.... if you haven't fucking noticed.... it hasn't worked.

For a sad fucking example:

I was on the bus the other day... as per usual... it was like being in the rush for the watering hole amongst a bunch of dehydrated warthogs. That aside.. a heavily pregnant lady was unfortunately without a seat. Now a quick lesson in bus terminology... the GREEN seats are for the eldery, weak and those who need it eg. the very pregnant lady carrying an armful of groceries.

Now, this guy who got on the same time as me had shamelessly plonked his donkey fucked posterior in the only green seat there. this was a guy in his late twenties who was in his physical prime... not a sign of a deformity on him. Why is he sitting there???? well... he got up...

Just as you're about to applaud and call this a happy ending... he gets up............................. and this skinny woman just drops into the seat like a fecal bomb from a large canid. What the fuck?! As i sigh and shake my head she has the cheek to ask what did she do wrong............. my brain just went OW. Ow. Ow. Ow.

This is the crap we're doing everyday. Now don't try to deny it... we're all guilty as sin about this.

However being polite is good and all, but when it becomes such that we are afraid of speaking our minds.... its another crap problem.

Thats for part 2 of this...

Is the happydrunk back? Maybe... you tell me.

Quote O The Day

2007-01-04T17:51:00.000+08:00

"It has been offering itself to Babbington."

Funniest shit i've read in a long time. Unfortunately was read in a bus load of peoplewho started staring.

Fear of Public Transport Deux

2007-01-03T19:05:00.000+08:00

We still live in mortal fear of bus doors...

Somehow somewhere, a midget swindled someone out of a pack of tic tacs to grow a beanstalk for some valuable information about the SBS.

Apparently after a certain amount of time the doors will slam shut and chop anyone thats disembarking or boarding a bus to slow. The body will then be used to feed the abundant population of roaches that lurk in the bus of horror. If one is lucky, the doors will only slam shut in his/hers face and prevent entering or leaving the bus while the bus driver cackles at your predicament while digging his nose and arse simultaneously while thrusting his pelvis at your face while you plead for him to open it up like some elvis from hell.

You are then condemned to wait for another bus or till the next stop and run the time gauntlet again. Oh the horror!

The above story is fictional, any resemblance to any fact or person is strictly coincidental.

But isn't that what people seem to think? They stick bags in your arse and noses in the back of your necks at the moment they see their stop on the horizon. With all the courtesy of wildebeast and the subtlety of a rhino they "squeeze" by you rubbing you in places you would rather keep personally to yourself... Before wrapping themselves around the pole at the door like some scum sucking calamari on a stick. Positively refusing to budge till they reach their stop and get off FIRST so as to avoid the doors of tragedy.

Either that or they immediately start bonding with the pole and with a strategic placement of the gluteus completely split the bus into two sections and then jamming everyone in the front like christmas turkey stuffing while leaving the rear part free for them to pollute with the occasional flatulence.

If you think this is only on the buses.... "Deaaaaa"... Wrong...

With the arrival of automation... comes the fear of the MRT coming to life and slaying us with the doors like some Matrix Sentinel. Either that or clamming shut so tight we will all expire from the inhalation of each others armpit sauce fragrance. Hence, we all group at the door so as to make a quick desperate escape like some Stallone wannabe when the system goes haywire and the train suddenly starts making jokes about how many humans it takes to kill for a robot to shutdown.

Technology scares us so much. I propose the MRT be stripped of its computer and run by a large bearded man in a top hat and suspenders and towed along by the mutant rats that infest the tunnels. To open the doors we'll use a complicated system of pulleys and hamsters. At least with hamsters nothing can go wrong.

But until the government decides to give in to our demands for less hazardous transport. We will still need to face the daily waves of menacing buses and trains to get around.

someone save us.

The Crazy Four Day Marathon

2007-01-01T17:21:00.000+08:00

There goes my weekend....

Four days of straight mad bartending.... What the heck possesed me to agree to work tonight after my already three days of suicide??

Another night of looking at fugly and dumb customers. Being sore as a conveyor belt chicken's ass is not funny.

Yea, so i said fugly and stupid customers.

I'm biased against people that look not a bit pleasing to the eye. yes, I am such a bastard. Admit it... You do get more easily pissed of at people with faces that resemble slabs of meat in the butcher's window. I deal with such people so often I've developed selective blindness... so please don't expect me to smile at you when I'm having problems not asking you if you are in need of medical attention. If you're drunk.... well... lets say you have a face that would even make satan cringe.

Yea yea... I have an attitude so what?

Its not like you don't have an attitude yourself... If you don't you aren't human. It just depends on what you're degree of attitude is. Mine is, if you don't give me basic human courtesy then I will treat you like the stuff i scrape off the bottom of my boots. Sue me.

Which explains why I bec ome deaf to idiotic whistling and calls of bro when i'm busy. You "desperately" need a glass of water? Go to the fucking toilet and get it moron. Theres no difference in the water. Unless you can prove to me that you can't make it to the toilet without being tossed over like a sack of potatoes or will be that close to dehtydrative death without that glass. In any case, you'd need an ambulance not me. So don't give me that fucking nonsense about desperate needs of water.

Guys with dreadlocks and smug looks stay away from me. I don't serve you for mortal fear of getting itches from your mass of hairy shit like extensions from your scalp and I no, you acting all smug like thinking you look so damn cool with dreads is a fucking turn off. Don't try to act like Bob Marley... He's rolling in his grave at all you CMI posers wearing dreads and marijuana inspired clothing.

If you talk about marijuana.... then smoke it shit.... Don't fucking act big and wear all those pot clothing and pretend. Do you know how to spell "POSER"? It goes Y-O-U....

I'm very likely will be working at velvet tonight. Together with the Darth Vader wannabe of a bar manager that just shows you a black face every fucking night like you owe him a pair of testicles. If you're face is like that how do you ever expect any of us to show you respect or even pretend to smile at you? Dumb mofo can't even survive one night without shouting at anyone and the management is puzzled why the full timers are leaving...

Besides Mr anal... there is his close cousin... Mr Dick... and he is so ironically named. He is the biggest village idiot i've ever met in my entire life. He looks like a mishapen Gollum i tell you. I can't help but laugh at him when he appears... call me mean... whatever... you havent seen him. I can't express any words for him save for the word "retarded".

There will be plenty more antics of this Dick especially after tonight.

For the time being... I gotta go to work. Again.

Happy fucking new year.

... you know I love you all.

Christmas Day

2006-12-25T23:42:00.000+08:00

Havent slept well for a week now...

But still managed to drag myself out of the house and to the east to settle some business before goin to deliver a christmas present.

unfortunately I found I had a few hours to kill before i could send it... so was walking around bedok central.

Felt the chills so bought some smokes. Ended up smoking alot since I'm sick. Like poison always kills the germs.... I know I will be corrected for this but who cares... Not looking to live forever.

Library was closed so I was potentially gonna have to walk around the place for a few hours. Fortunately there was a LAN shop open so went in to kill time... havent been to one in years.... Was completely lost like some chinaman in Timbuctoo with no hands.

Well managed to finally deliver... was worth the effort to see that smile.

Met cherie and chris at cineleisure. Was like an idiot as I turned up last minute and they were all gonna watch a movie and I was just some extra standing around holding his dick.

Wanted to head home anyways... had a monster headache and was firing up. But I had gotten an 'extra' present in my puzzle and had to send it back... Its ok. I get sick most of the time now anyways...

So... back home figuring out the puzzle... never been good at this but since i can't sleep, it'll kill the time and make me forget my headache and fever.

Clarifications:

2006-12-24T05:07:00.000+08:00

1. I have ah beng side burns coz my hair grew too fast and i'm couldn't be bothered to trim them.

2. I have an attitude because I was born with it.

3. If i'm away on MSN means i really am not around.

4. I'm not looking angry.... its just that i'm not smiling.

5. No. I don't play around with my customers.

6.And no... not with the cashiers either.

7. I don't ignore you when i'm at work... I appreciate the fact you look for me and brighten my day but i've got work to do at times. Its not coz i don't like you.

An early Xmas gift from me to you.....

2006-12-19T05:29:00.000+08:00

Look up and feel the tingling of the rain as it burns your face ever so slightly,

Smell the fumes of rot of the trash you left behind.

Hear the night cries of a million children who havent a god in the world,

Of fragile hearts that shatter and tears that fall every minute.

Can you look in the eyes of a mother who lost her son,

Or comfort the orphan that can't afford a coffin.

Walk thru the streets and know that something in this world isn't right.

Then think about the gift you have in your hand.

Merry Christmas

My Desire....

2006-12-18T12:09:00.000+08:00

The Black Patriot

Plus of course another.....

Wonderful Wake Up

2006-12-18T06:10:00.000+08:00

How I love mondays....

wake up to hear she's been crying... like the sun hasn't even risen and the shits all a'coming already.

I hate it when women cry....

No... not coz of the noise or the look... its coz I feel so fucking rubber legged when they do. And I do hate the feeling.

you can give me broken toys or gadgets to fix and i'd probably have it up and running in awhile after some references to the manual. But give me a spoilt human and i'd have alot of fucking problems i tell you.

I'm goin to fail my FYP unless i can suddenly become a total genius and vomit out 5 sets of tests within this holiday to save my ass. Since i know nothing about the exact process... i'm so screwed.
Well well... life is such a bed of roses... Alll i have to look forward to is this wednesday and christmas ( surprising huh?). But somehow I've got the premonitions of screw ups on these 2 days...

sheesh..... let me have a smooth sailing till february please?

2006-12-15T18:14:00.000+08:00

You stubborn, I stubborn.

You're sick so i give medicine. If you're mad then be mad.

And god do i hate meeting parents....

2006-12-10T22:12:00.001+08:00

Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared,
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile, (may your smile)
Shine on, (shine on)
Don't be scared, (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm,

'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday,
Take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

Get up, (get up)
Come on, (come on)
Why you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change what's been and gone

'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them some day,
Take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday.
Just take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

We're all of the stars,
We're fading away.
Just try not to worry,
You'll see us someday.
Just take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out...

Only mortal humans can slay the devils....

2006-12-10T22:12:00.000+08:00

God : Hello. Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No.. who is this?

God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy
now. I am in the midst of something.

God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become
hectic.It's rush hour all the time.

God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets
you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still cant figure out. By the way, I
was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by
giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach
you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about
yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing.
Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..

God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold
cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through
trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life
become better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She
gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant
we be free from problems?

God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial
Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes
from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know
where we are heading..

God : If you look outside you will not know where you are
heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking
inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than
moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God : Success is a measure as decided by others.
Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the
road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead.
You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how
far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what
you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they
prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have
truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.

God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you
want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are
here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a
process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present
with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to
start the New Year with a new sense of inspiration.

God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe
your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to
solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful
if you know how to live .

*P.S Dug this out from a time where I was kinda more religious.
Piece of crap or good motivational advice?

2006-12-02T18:17:00.000+08:00

God bless me.... i'm running critically low....

peng san-ing in progress...

2006-11-19T22:57:00.000+08:00

boredom + sianness + the science of Ios = big heap O trouble

Everybody's Fool

2006-11-18T15:50:00.000+08:00

Perfect by nature
icons of self indulgence
just what we all need
more lies about a world that

never was and never will be
have you no shame don't you see me
you know you've got everybody fooled

look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending
but now i know she

never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

without the mask where will you hide
can't find yourself lost in your lie

i know the truth now
i know who you are
and i don't love you anymore

it never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

it never was and never will be
you're not real and you can't save me
somehow now you're everybody's fool

Too many "I'm sorry" I have to say

2006-11-13T21:16:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry I haven't picked up your calls at night.

I'm sorry I haven't listened as much as I should.

I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed.

I'm sorry I'm so fucking helpless when it comes to you.

I'm sorry I've used this phrase so many times.

I'm sorry I wish I could do so much more for you.

I'm sorry.

2006-10-24T21:43:00.000+08:00

The wee shu min saga has really tickled me...

because, to be frank, I never envisioned any of the elite to look that fugly. Hahahahahahaha...

From someone coming from RJC, I expected a better argument rather than the use of spelling. Which of us never makes typos? Thats what the spell check is for moron.

The great irony in all this is that this female is on a HUMANITARIAN scholarship... thats like giving Hitler a medal for incinerating Jews as a form of "Peaceful Relocation". Note the proper use of irony in this paragraph...

However, the ugly truth in all this is that what this so called elite has said is true.
This country is crap... we all know that. Empty promises from a ruling party, huge increases in costs in comparision with tiny increments in earnings... Politicians who aren't working for the sake of the people like pioneers when we first gained experience. What HAVE they done by the way? Fill this country with immigrants that take us as a free meal ticket to go to places such as the states and europe. How do you expect anyone to stay in a country that gives priority to aliens rather than to its own native countrymen?

We're always lead to believe that we can't compare with these foreign "talents". But we are just as good or better. Look how successful we are outside of this country that takes us for failures if we don't come from schools of high reputation or have scholarships?

As for the "elite"... these are people i wouldn't trust to run a desert island with a single coconut tree. When it comes to books, yea, they can talk the talk... regurgitations of slightly altered content. But when it comes to using your head.... they would probably dismantle a flagpole to lay it on its side to measure its length.

I've had very little respect for the MPs here and the latest commentary of Mr Wee has only made it worse. You're all dependent on people like me to keep your faced stuffed, don't you try to be smug. You're not even chosen by us.... the real process can be related to what a hoover does... too bad to those who can't get the meaning. I'm not that dumb to get myself in trouble with the government.

Enough of crap... laters

my sacrifice

2006-10-11T01:51:00.000+08:00

no... am not talking about various farm animals being delivered to me on altars...

its that song from Creed that always brings back memories of times with my Song and Thong in a galaxy long long ago....

we've all gone on our various roads in life... i've had an influx of new friends... its almost so hard to keep in touch with the old anymore. Yes... i am an ingrate.

But this i have to be honest, a hundred years with people like them is really too short.

On the other hand, I've been sick for 2 weeks if anyone noticed.... and i hate my job to top it off after that 3ml incident at work.

I've not been blogging for awhile as there have been too much goin on and far too little of me of proper mind to actually type it out. So why not i just start off with my familiar curse time about people that fucking bug me:

Bloody sonofafruit Indian cheebyes that like to order 2 drinks by holding up 4 fingers and requesting a calculated sum of ice in their drinks... eh.... even the fucking drink dispenser doesnt count how many ice cubes they give you... what are you gonna do? Swear at it by incanting all 1001 of your vedic deities to give you the exact amount of one or three ice cubes?

Now that i would like to see... a mangy black fellow smelling of toilet swearing in tamil at a Coke dispensing machine and then starting to roll up his dhoti and prepare a wardance infront of the piece of machinary...

Before you say i'm a bloody racist... I'll admit it... But i'm a selective racist.

I'm inclined to be biased against people who refuse to give good examples of human behaviour in definiotion to their skin color or religion. Sorry... I believe in personal freedom and i do not have to put up with you so if you ain't down with that then i only got two words for ya'.....

FUCK OFF

Which is what alot of annoying simians don't understand how to do these days. Why must everything that offends them that they are perfectly able to ignore become with them?

Listen up MOE... u need to start a module in schools... Fucking Off 101... How to just close your eyes or ignore what you don't like that isn't your business.

Take for example... that guy that was hauled to court for walking starkers in his own home... The neighbours can just close the fucking curtains. But like what the great majority of singaporeans love to do.... they leave the curtains wide open and stare at the guy knowing full well its a sight that would make your grandad do pirouttes in his grave and then complain about having to look at it.

As Phua Chu Kang mentioned.... "Use your Brain, use your brain!"

No one complains when you have all night mahjong sessions or loud karaoke in your home.... we all know you sing as well as a moose in rut but you see.... we CHOOSE to ignore. Its not soething we can't solve ourselves.... These are the people with the most common sense. The rest.... just people so anal that the govt should just stick pictures over their eyes so that they will see what they want and shut up.

Now on to the next one.... FAT people...

You say you can'thelp but be like that.... well... thats true....

But must i suffer coz you cant bring yourself to diet, excercise or stop stuffing your pie hole? You take up 2 seats on the bus or train and deprive some old person a seat... Or jolly well knowing you can't fit between two people... still wedge your bulbous blubber twined torso between the two passengers thereby ramming their shoulders into their collar bone and giving them an upclose and personal feel of your gelatinous hide and a whiff of your natural perfume.

Geez... aren't we lucky.

Put it this way... you can't help it... neither can we. So if you do wedge yourself on the train or bus again and someone beside you asks you to fucking keep your spare tire to yourself... that would be moi.

I need a gal to tame me.

if you feel up to the task you can email me.

a whip and chair maybe required on your part.

2006-09-06T09:02:00.000+08:00

A guard against all popular pick up lines.... Men everywhere start freakin....

WAYS TO TURN DOWN MEN(Real Funny)

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

This is good !
HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

2006-08-31T17:30:00.000+08:00

The following are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time
considering how their online names might appear... and be misread.

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that
represents any celebrity. Their Web site is:
http://www.whorepresents.com/

2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and views at:
http://www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at:
http://www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at:
http://www.therapistfinder.com

5. There's the Italian Power Generator company:
http://www.powergenitalia.com

6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales:
http://www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always:
http://www.ipanywhere.com

8. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site is:
http://www.cummingfirst.com

9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site:
http://www.speedofart.com

2006-08-22T09:28:00.000+08:00

If i'm not being who i used to be...

my bad.

But i need time off.

Time for myself to find out what or who I am,

and what means to me and whom i miss.

I can't make things better now,

But someday I'll make things alright,

just not right now.

2006-08-18T19:00:00.000+08:00

Someone called me crazy the other the day...

Kinda funny since i'm definately more sane than the person who called me that.

Many people say I'm nuts. Funny thing coz to Song and the rest who are closer to me find me one of the most straight no crazy person most of the times...
Was such a different person on wednesday night at Zouk that Song kept asking me what the fuck was wrong... I can be the crazy motherfucker that we saw at Phuture that other wednesday night but thats provided i have the monster inside wake up. Monster sleeps, i sleep.

But yea... things are sorta toned down after 2000. I'm a fucking engineering student... like WTF. How my teachers or classmates from secondary or JC fucking laugh their right lung out to hear me doing that... As u can see... scholar I aint.

Did well at the INXS thing last night.... i guess so since both managing director and director of the company i was working for asked me to deal with them direct for any other events. And I was the only idiot there that got paid in full last night. Plus a fat tip that i will be recieving from them soon....

Fun guys... alcohol guzzlers and fucking mad. I like working under them. Had liberties with the San Miguel beer that was being constantly smuggled into our tent... Yea, it tastes like shit but hey, it was hot, and the beer was damn fucking cold. Plus... when you're tired on your smoke break... a fucking ice cold beer is better than any energy pick me up on the market.

And as a souvenior... i got a cool sign to hang on my wall... wahahahaha

2006-08-14T16:36:00.000+08:00

I am Peter Stuyvesant
I have two friends, Benson and Hedges
I came from the city of Marlboro,
In the Salem high country
I Always carry a Mild Seven
I rode on a White Horse
Going to Kingsway in Kent
It was Lucky Strike I fell in love
With the daughter of Master Duke
Her name Was YSL
We got married by Perillys, the priest
We checked in at the house of Dunhill
And booked into room number 555
I laid her on the bed made of Gold Leaf
I played with her two Matterhorns
When I poked in my Rothmans King Size
She cried in delight, "You are a Rough Rider!!!"
You are riding like a mad Camel
When I asked her if she is satisfied
She answered" I want MORE!!!!"
Then suddenly she turned around and asked me if I want to
enter her Gudang Garam.
She said... depan belakang puas, barulah Sampoerna!!! =

2006-08-14T13:20:00.000+08:00

I am Ong Ah Bee living in Kampong Chai Chee
Life used to be simple and HAPPY
I worked hard in my STUDIES
I learned A-B-C and everything from 1, 2, and 3
Primary school was quite easy I passed PSLE

Then I went to SECONDARY
The subjects include HISTORY, GEOGRAPHY Physics, Biology and CHEMISTRY
After O levels I went to JC I was quite LUCKY

This is a small humid tropical COUNTRY
Surrounded by unknown potential ENEMIES
Boys turned 18 must go to ARMY
After that we must continue our Studies
The girls can just sit back, relax and watch TV
They come to this world only to "Chia Liao Bi"

No one lives on free meals or depends on CHARITY
I had no money to go to University or Poly
So I went to work at a FACTORY
Trying to earn a little lousy SALARY
After CPF and INCOME TAX, I have just enough money to buy ROTI and ride in MRT

Colleagues at work used
to be FRIENDLY
Always treat me to tea and COFFEE
Somehow they turned FISHY
Passing bad remarks about me
Telling everybody I am LAZY

My bosses show me no SYMPATHY
Mumbling over my shoulder daily
"HURRY, HURRY and HURRY !"
Accusing me of always trying to get MC
But my sickness was due to over-stretched OT

Going home after midnight by TAXI and They pay me only bus fee

I Park-Tor and became STEADY
Finally had to MARRY
I lost money holding Wedding Dinner PARTY
Cheeky friends donating only cheap PANTY
After marriage, nothing was EASY

In one year, I became DADDY
I can't support my family and our BABY
Being tied down for life to repay HDB and rising monthly utilities to PUB
My bank account has NO MONEY POSB balance is almost EMPTY
DBS wants to charge me EXTRA FEE Insisting that "Nothing is FREE!"
So I moonlight as KARANG GUNI

Many times I want to jump into the sea to MATI
But that is not EASY
My wife cries: "Who is going to support me and our BABY?"
So I can't MATI

I went to seek assistance from the MP
His reply was simple and easy:
"Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me"
He never tell me any convincing Policy
My dear friends, can you pls help Ong Ah Bee

2006-08-13T05:41:00.000+08:00

Ok... for those who are wondering the change in blog name... This was kinda the original happydrunk. Moving back to my roots and starting this blog anew if possible...

Just came back from a sudden urgent recall at work. Crowd sucked but at least i got paid to do nothing and laugh at faggot dancing...

I'm a racist I admit. Its not coz i hate the color, but they've not shown me anything to change my perspective of them. You all can say shit about not looking at stereotypes... but fuck please.... They stereotype themselves. I've never seen a m***y not being a nuiscance in a club before.... But a bottle of JD and you're suddenly Tengku??? Eh... do you understand the meaning of pookie manjau? i know you don't have the cash to buy one more bottle, but don't be a fucking CB over a dribble thats left in the bottle.... what? you wanna watch it evaporate then you'll be satisfied of your money's worth?

And don't fucking touch people's faces... If you had done that to me you'd be on the floor. You gay or what??? Abang my foot.

I also figured something out. Not sure if i'm correct but i think i was misinterpretated to be trying to split two best friends.... I can't blame the person who thought so. But for the people who know me, you all know i don't do that kinda shit. I will say what i want, but i will NOT try to tear people apart.

If you wanna think that way i can only explain. To believe its up to you... I do everything by conscience. Think i'm a lying snake? Then whatever... we're better off being apart.

Again i got traumatised by Singapore Idol. Jasynctha is insane... I 've heard more sensible words from someone with tourette's. And Twiddle Dee Twohill is still in the show... Its the month of ghosts and demons, don't you realise you are scaring children?

I can imagine mothers telling their tykes to stay indoors at night or Twohill will catch them and floss his braces with their skin.

Ok. I've alot on my plate. I needed to rant. Now i'm done.

Last but not least, to the guys that have been supporting me thru my recent downward spiral.... Thanks. Couldn't be anywhere without you people.

2006-08-12T02:14:00.000+08:00

I miss a friend of the night.

Like a shot of tabasco in my veins in the lull of work.

Who I promised to look out for,

To whom I spent hours staying up talking with.

But like the wind,

I find the person gone and leaving the memories at my feet.

If you're reading this,

You've left a hole,

The space you've occupied will always be there for you.

When things are right I hope you'll say hi again.

2006-08-09T14:36:00.000+08:00

Your heart is not open so I must go

The spell has been broken, I loved you so

Freedom comes when you learn to let go

Creation comes when you learn to say no


You were my lesson I had to learn

I was your fortress you had to burn

Pain is a warning that something's wrong

I pray to God that it won't be long

Do ya wanna go higher?


There's nothing left to try

There's no place left to hide

There's no greater power

Than the power of good-bye


Your heart is not open so I must go

The spell has been broken, I loved you so

You were my lesson I had to learn

I was your fortress


Learn to say good-bye

I yearn to say good-bye




nice lyrics... reminds me of the past.
ancient history. fuck it.

2006-08-07T21:03:00.000+08:00

Finally paid my library fines....

Yes... i'm a bastard that doesn't pay his fines... for... 3 years.

Not so perfect citizen am i. been goin to the library recently... miss hiding in a corner just reading in the quiet. Orchard library offers me everything i could want... inclusive of germ ridden air conditioning which is why i'm feverish again.

Saw these Native american buskers outside wisma last night.... was wondering something.... what actually are these people singing?
They could be singing, " You look like you have weiner smaller than that of praire dog" or " coyote would howl in pain at yon face" and we would be all stupidly laughing and clapping at them and throwing them cash while they insult us in their native tongue.

Kinda like goin to africa and singing insults in hokkien and getting paid. Fun.

Have you wanted to stay? Have you wanted to go?

An interesting phrase i read in a graphic novel. Probably from some old film. But its kinda interesting to me. Coz i have always been responsible for this or that and having to be somewhere for everyone but me. This phrase just strikes me. Its a temptation.... to drop everything and everyone. To go away and leave the problems and people behind.

Song once told me he felt like doin the same. To abandon all the old friends and start anew. And now I feel the same way.... You ever thought about what things you've done in life for people irregardless if they're right or wrong, whether or not in the big scheme of things will it even create a cosmic equivalent of a burp?

I have had stuff hapeen to me i do not wish others to go thru but somehow no matter what i do, they can't divert from the path. So why do i do it? Adeline told me to do it for the people that really appreciate my efforts. But to me that isnt right. But now the tempation has been placed in front. The apple of which once i take i will never be the same.

This isn't about anyone or anything in particular. But I'm tired.... Has anyone even bothered asking me that?

Fuck you all.

2006-07-28T05:53:00.000+08:00

The last 24 hours have not been good....

was tripping very badly. Never attempt to substitute sleeping pills with... other stuff.

When i'm not in control, my devil comes out... and you don't deserve to meet him.

How long can one man fight the darkness, before he finds it in himself?

2006-07-16T06:14:00.000+08:00

On the way to work caught a glimpse of Singapore Idol...

May all 1001 hindu deities strike down the wretched fart that came up with the Idol idea...

God... what a fucking torture to the senses.

I still don't get how people can get so wild about the contestants... the female ones i can

understand, coz deep inside, the guys just think about screwing them till they shout

"God!!" in a Mariah Carey pitch tone. Have to admit.... some of them aren't bad looking,

but that doesn't save the shitty songs they sing.

The guys however... how can any girl even bear to scream their name in public is a

serious puzzle to me. Look at the Twohill guy... He covers his face with his hair for a

damned good reason.... He's FUGLY! I would rather see a ninety year old Jim Carrey's

arse lipsynching than have to look at that guy's face for an entire song. I saw him sing

half a song before getting of the bus fortunately... thru out the whole thing he kept

flicking his hair here and there... like WTF... cover your face. Your face isn't what we

want to see. Plus whats with the black fingernail polish??? It all makes sense now.... the
long hair, nail polish and flicking.... HE'S A FAGGOT!!!

They showed a part where he was fishing with his dad and he looked more like some 16
year old girl at a pony farm. The most relaxing part about his part in Idol was when he

was talking to gurmit? about whatever crap that is on his faggot mind, and you could

only see his teeth under a bunch of hair. I kept thinking of funny shit that would happen

to him in that situation... like falling off the stage and breaking some front teeth so he

could be a fag AND toothless etc...

I'm mean. Who cares?

There was this other guy Idol loser who was on the live SMS thing.... looked equally

meow meow as Twolumps. Kept showing his picture next to his replies, like i want to

know how he looks like.... and people actually pay money to engage in dumb babble

with him. I highly suspect mediacorp paid people to cheer and shout for the male

contestants. Makes no sense otherwise so many females are that moronic or blind. If

that truly was the case, i would say the singaporean genetic pool is doomed.

I think i shall comment on every single Idol contestant i am unfortunate to catch a glimpse of on the godforsaken TV mobile. Its quite fun actually....

Sometimes its not how much a person does, but by the quality of what is done.

this goes esp. to matters of the heart. think that thru. good night.

2006-07-10T04:25:00.000+08:00

watched the finals of the WC...

Italians impress me after being actors and mafiaso for the whole bloody shindig. French? Only zidane and ribery deserve my respect that i rarely give. The whole bloody rest of the fogs can go eat shite pate and die la.

Is it me or is france supposed to be a caucasian country? Then why the fuck are there only 4 men i've seen playin that are white? The rest are just bloody former french colony africans that can run like antelope and butt around like rhinos. I see no other talent in most of the french midfield besides running. Zidane seems to be doing most of the work while the tribesman do their best to run with the ball in the right direction.... One guy's name reminded me of a case of stomach problem... did nothing but elbow, shove, tug etc etc... This is a soccer match... not a race to tackle a wildebeast to use as dowry for the only virgin in the village.

And Henry is the biggest asshole i've seen on the pitch next to cristiano ronaldo. I've seen so much performances from him that i'm starting to believe he's a stand in actor thats undergone cosmetic surgery to replace the real henry thats being tied to a goalpost somewhere in england by an insane arsene wenger. Did i say the acting was good? hell no... its like watching arnold schwarzenegger trying to dramatize macbeth. To the less literate wise people... that means : CANNOT MAKE IT LA.

Second place ronaldo is also another bastard actor... act like lan jiao then play like a chee bye. Sink in one penalty and act like he just dribbled from russia into the oppositions goalpost. Eh.... you're over rated and greasy as last night's KFC bucket la...

Overall, the WC stinks...

hey FiFa... do you understand KELONG???

'nuff said.

And finally,

I've had enough of being your comforter... why are you still here?

For I'm only Human

2006-07-08T10:08:00.000+08:00

I've not been myself these days. I've done bad things... And I'm truly sorry for what i've done. But sometimes regrets can come too late.

But I have to walk on with my head held high and not die.

I'm not the boy i was so many years ago.

I've slept 3 hours or less and have a headache, for some reason i can't sleep and keep checking my HP. I dreamt i had a message from someone i missed and am afraid of and woke up but turns out it was only a figment of my imagination.

I guess this is the way things ought to be. Better for everyone.

Work was horrid last night. Worked practically non stop and even had to take time off to lean on the counter when i was printing reciepts. Can't talk about the number of losers there.... I'm so stoned till i've lost my sarcastic humor.

Bad luck has hit me like a ton of bricks and i'm wondering if i should stay home for the rest of my life to just not get swept away by the tides of unluckiness. I need some bomoh magic and i mean serious bomoh magic.

Anyone knows of fucking powerful good luck charms? Like wearing a rubber chicken on your head and painting yourself green running around the corridors shouting "prata"? If that guarantees luck to me i would do it.

18 hours to go before i can sleep again...

Give me strength... anyone... anything...

at the end of the day

2006-06-29T05:19:00.000+08:00

suddenly i feel really tired...

theres some invisible weight attempting to compress my shoulders into my hip.

work as usual earlier. went back to phuture to the horny bunch of drunks.

i would recommend sir richard attenborough to film just one ladies night there on a documentary of the human coursthip ritual. even a gyneacologist would freak.

i adovocate freedom of choice. so... whatever you wanna do just do it.

we have free will for a reason.

really would like to rant more, but can't type any further... to be continued.

2006-06-17T13:41:00.000+08:00

Bad night....

felt like blowing up the entire place.

feel like month old shit now. let me die now. gack.

random ranting

2006-06-10T04:56:00.000+08:00

work was good today.

floorstaff finally behaved themselves after some incident last sat. Too bad i wasn't around then... heard there was a big blow up. Would've given my two fingers worth.
somehow everything went really smooth today... order flow was very handable and everything. Even had this buncha girls try all sorts of means to get one for one for a miserable shot of vodka from me and my colleague. From flirting to whipping out the longkang. Hahahahahahaha... show me something i havent seen.

And this persistent one kept trying to strike up conversations with me... moronic ones... "Are you studying or working?" What do i look like i'm doing now? Duh....

At least thta was my halftime show for the Germany/Costa Rica game. Haven't watched soccer in ages... Not bad as matches go. Plenty of poorer people around today cursing the Krauts or the costa ricans...

But somehow something was missing. Didnt really feel as energetic as per normal. Just felt... dunno... empty.

I have no idea why people like to tell me stuff... Angel says coz i look like a reliable person. Thats a freakin laugh. This would be all cool if not for my lil annpying habit of giving a damn and trying to find solutions for problems. Kapoh or being overly nice?

Fuck. Song was telling me i should give up what i do. Yea... i know. It was sooo much better back in JC where we didnt give a rat's ass of what others thought. Do what you want to and fuck the rest. Maybe as i grow up i start to actually care.

Hoopla.

Hell... JC and army were good times. All the same fucking crazy people around. Life was one big Jackass episode... now i get older and get more sensible and start slowing down. But i havent had enough of the life yet. I fucking want more.

And to a certain few people in my life at the moment... what in the world do you want of me? Like just give me a manual or finger paintings... i need a bloody clue. I don't wanna keep guessing what is expected of me and what i'm expected to know you expect me to do for you. I don't wanna get pissed at anyone coz to those who have seen me get pissed before you know you DON"T want that to happen. So please... just give me some clues or best... direct instructions.

And yes... I'm still that steady. I will always have everyone's back.

2006-06-08T22:56:00.000+08:00

Buried to my neck in shit

Black eyed boy won't you rest in peace

Pass me another joint i need my hit

Can't you see i do what i do

I don't have to but the flesh is unwilling

Everyone needs an ear so i have to

Doesn't mean you can just fill me up with gasoline

Crazy it is and i am

Will be there when you call

Doesn't matter if i crash and burn

So fuck me up that bit more

What we don't mean we often mean afterall

2006-06-04T09:41:00.000+08:00

Confusing to some people i know but thats for me to know and you not to pry.

I've been very busy lately so haven't managed to rant as much as i'd want to.
So just gonna let loose now.

I hate my job and i hate all the fucking floorstaff who think i work for THEM and not Lincoln cheng. I've never met such pampered and completely stupid people in my life. If you dont have a clue whats going on then dont propose to question what i do. I'm the bartender. If you think you can do better than i'll go home and let you take over. And fucking go get your water yourself. The toilet tap is just there. I believe the water there is cleaner than our unwashed sink tap. Pardon me if i dont "serve" you pronto. I have other more important stuff to do. You can jolly well wait for your water and your glasses of ice.

Moving along... Zhen's gonna have a gig on wednesday the day after the date feared by all christiandom has passed. Gonna be great meeting up with the old motherfuckers again... Job and school has taken so much of my life away as it is... i want to drink till i get high and stoned and laugh at the moon as i did before. To be among people i love and miss. To be with the true friends of mine. The rascals and babes of my life. Fuck i miss the nights at walas.

Yes i'm still single... Don't need to enquire about it.

Love is something like a hot potato. You hold it you will get burned sooner or later, throw it away and its your own damn fault you're gonna go without a meal. My heart kinda died a long time ago... but lately i felt it beat a twitch. THis twitch has echoed throughout my body and fucked my brain. I don't like the muddled feeling.
Let me go have a drink...

Turn Your Lights On......

2006-05-18T00:50:00.000+08:00

I am a monster.

Plain and simple. When the night comes i can feel it.

It tingles up my spine.

The monsters under my bed whisper in my ear.

The devil in me rattles his cage.

All the ways to make you scream i have thought of.

Twenty one ways to break the fingers in your hand.

They whisper to me how i can kill you as easy as pie.

Break you i can.

There is a darkness living deep in my soul.

An angel holds my hand and tells me theres nothing to fear.

Someone shine a light down this hole.

Thirst for blood.

Quench the thirst with water i can't.

Sleep it off or till the light comes.

Meanwhile,

All you sinners.

Keep your lights on.

Bend Over And Try This Boot On For Size

2006-04-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

Singaporeans are a rude buncha morons.

Some stupid woman just lumbered up into my face on the train today. HELLOooo... Theres someone directly behind you. Its kinda rude to shove your huge hair into their face like they want to have a mouthful of it.... And furthermore, you smell like a medicated oil brewery, if its not obvious, YOU SMELL. So kindly fuck off from my prescence... Took a quite violent nudge from me to get her to notice she was being as welcome as a cockroach in the Shangri La. And she had the gall to give me a "you stupid rude oaf" look. Had i wasn't in a better mood today i would have let loose on her regardless of the number of people on the train.

Another fucked indian man was being a total fucking monkey. Stepped on the bus and stopped at the rear door and clung on to the pole like a sloth sucking on a moss covered branch. There are other people wanting to get on the bus too fuckhead. You standing there with a smug smile on your face at getting prime position to get off the bus first and blocking the rest of the way with your big baboon ass isnt something to be proud of. Talk about a face asking to be bitchslapped back to bombay...

What is it with these foreign people? The fucking Indian nationals that come over here with their fancy degrees think they're fucking maharajas... Oh i believe your coconut papers are such wonderful and great compared to degrees from Harvard and NUS. Eh... even a dylexsic person speaks better english than you. Fuck off la. Seriously, I wouldnt give two cents of a fuck to laying the smackdown on your bastard black ass. You can sit at a computer and type like a machine all day. BIG HAIRY DEAL. I don't see a need to worship you. And don't expect me to, unless you want to see my foot up your ass.

Do think twice before you try to fuck up my day.

Adios Tonto and that mule you came in on

2006-04-20T19:25:00.000+08:00

For some reason, almond favoured coffee and a coupla smokes with a side of no sleep makes things seem very clear to me.

Adios big E~ Good riddance.

I need to start kicking some proverbial ass and get a few more beers.
Admit it. I'm a bastard, no point trying to be nice about it. For God's sake, what you see is what you get so if you don't like it then take your punk ass home.

Customers once again feel i'm an utter asshole. What would you expect? I'm not here for your amusement... you want that then go to the Zoo and see Ah Meng dance for a coconut. And yes, if you dont understand that in Inglese then I have some useful sign language for ya.

What is it with the stupid kids in the club???
Eh..... grow some pubic hair then come back to look for gals in the club you dumbass. I have leghair that has seen more action than you. You think you look cool in your long sleeve shirts and worn jeans? HAHAHAHA. Go to Little India MRT station at 7pm and you shall see your fellow Banglas all dressed like you. I'm very sure that would really impress the ladies. *nods vigorously*

Then I have to say it again... YOU ALL ARE FUCKING UGLY... a drunk skunk wouldnt touch your privates save to bite that little peanut off.

No money, no looks, no dress sense... what the fuck makes you think you're gonna get a gal here??? Cannot make it then fuck off... don't scare the ladies away from the bar. I want to have something to look at when i'm not busy. And you arent a blessed sight to see... especially when you're green like Donatello and look like a dead goldfish from drinking a jug of vodka orange or bourbon coke which is bascially the only thing you can handle. When i hand you the plastic bag its not for you to puke in it, its for you to cover your fugly face so i neednt see it dickweed.

Ladies.... like you wear those low tops for a reason... so don't bother acting coy and covering up with your hands when you bend over. Theres nothing there i havent seen before. And in the first place couldnt be bothered to see since most of you have nothing for me to look at. Why do you think i only face my ear to you??? Don;t flatter yourself.

Not speaking for the stupid gee-nas... I think they would prematurely ejaculate if you showed a bra strap. But yea... I've seen much more hardcore stuff already in my time working there. And why bother to pretend? U're sitting down... any guy comes over and looks down will get to see what you're displaying without the need for you to bend down. Sheesh... Make up your minds.

And don't expect me to say anything about what went down during the weekend. Don't care about it. Respect to those who were there. Apologise for the inconvenience. Next time drinks on me. To the rest.... buy your own drinks.

Fugliness

2006-04-08T08:28:00.000+08:00

For once i was kinda looking forward to goin to work for some inane reason.

Wasn't that bad as it turned out... But WILL ALL THE FUGLY PEOPLE STAY AT HOME? In a club you're supposed to look good, not like Moby Dick's arse. If anyone of the customers who i gave an attitude to earlier are reading this.... Well... Its coz I can't bear to look at you and feel like slapping your face for being born like that. I finally understand that the 99% majority of customers are ugly people who go to clubs to hide in dim lighting as in broad daylight your faces would scare children. And you're brains are just as defective as your faces.

A few morons tried to hand me coupons during midnight madness... HA HA HA HA. Blatantly ignore them waving coupons at me like a bunch of homeless people with food stamps. Read the fucking plasma screens... BUY 1 GET 1 FREE. Not HAND IN COUPONS NOW. Eh... NO MONEY DON'T CLUB LA~ Go home and save a few months eating gardenia bread with sky juice then come here and drink. And its always the fugly ones that have no money... Can't blame them, i wouldnt want to give money to you bunch of defectives either. How bout that???

Its seriously much more enjoyable to fuck around with customers than give the "customer service" that we are "supposed" to give. To give them the small hope that i'll take their order after waiting so long only to dash their hopes by swerving off to do something totally unimportant like rearrange glasses. hahahahahahahhahaha. There was this guy who just unfortunately had a face i didnt like, waited for 15 min to try to get our attention, pretended i couldnt see him but immediately took the order of two ladies who appeared next to him and his gf. HAHAHA. Talk about looking malu. And oh yes i enjoyed making him look impotent in front of his gf.

Then there was this not bad looking chick who saw me singing along to Lil Jon's "Get Low" and started smiling at me and proceeded to plow right into some guy. Before I could react she zoomed off out of there. Hahahahahaha... Didn't i tell you i'm loved by all??? You know who you are... xp

I realised one thing... No matter how fucked up a girl dances, guys will still want to look. I saw this girl dancing like a spastic ostritch but yet counted 8 guys that were looking at her lower regions. And yes, i was looking too, and proceeded to be very puzzled why i would find it appeaaling. As long as the female moves the hips and butt, no matter how freakishly retarded it may look, guys will look and get filthy thoughts. We're just one step away from grunting and hobbling on all fours looking for bananas.

Heads up to all the horde... Next saturday is the annual fuck-up-yourselves shindig. Make your way down to sentosa costa sands or risk being in my leetle black book of scoundrels. This will be the biggest one yet i've organised so come on down. There may not be a next year. B.Y.O.B

A good friend got a job in a jap porn company. Like how fucking cool is that? His job is to place those mosiac thingies on the naughty bits of the videoes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... Where got so funny one??? And its a real job... WTF... I want one too. Like guy that mosiacs the mosiacs to fuck up your viewing pleasure even more. WAHAHAHAHAHA.

Music requirement for 15th

2006-04-03T10:06:00.000+08:00

I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers I want portable Ipod speakers

Per-kafta

2006-04-01T05:39:00.000+08:00

Once again back from work and getting pestered by garfield for some unknown reason... bugger keeps licking my hands. Starting to suspect he likes alcohol and has been secretly drinking the vodka in my room... maybe the first owner of an alcoholic feline. Now I know why he can fall off the bed for no reason... He's drunk.

Well... once again the majority of customers at my work place annoyed me. There was a nice bunch that i served for awhile though. Funny bunch and very polite. The others were like mutant mosquitoes at a blood donation... just once would like to line them up in a row and bitch slap them like a buncha fugly dominoes. When i'm working don't wave your hand in my face and give me a loud irritated tone when you say excuse me. First of all, I'm doing something, and your waste of five digits isn't transparent... I need to see what i'm doing. If you think that will get you my attention you are correct, I will acknowledge you're in my space and i will turn around and take you just as transparent as you think your hand is. How would you like to have someone's sweaty palm waving in your face? And don't think i don't know... You guys don;t wash your hands when after the toilet. I've seen it before... after zipping up the first thing of all is to adjust your hair... so i get your toilet odour plus hair grease. Fuck off and die la.

Being irritated won't help either. In case you're all too blind with your shades on in a place as dark as Batman's underpants... we are a few catering to the many. Kinda obvious that you have to wait. Even if you were some minister's son i'd ask you to wait your turn or talk to my hand. You get irritated, i get even more irritated, and trust me you don't want to annoy the person making the drinks for you. I have a vial of esscence of roach hidden in my shirt pocket, don't make me use it.

And i still don't understand the mentality of these people.
You wanna talk with friends but you do it in the most bizarre fashion. You all stand in a circle like a buncha pre-pubescent boyscouts and do a conversation while conveniently jamming the whole passage way. What are you guys afraid of?? Making body contact with your friend or would you like me to pass you a buncha stone tipped wooden poles and lend you my lighter so you can dance around it chanting "ooga booga"? This isnt a campfire you brainless scrotums.

Plus you get annoyed when people wanna squeeze past you because they have no way esle to move. Some moron elbowed me while i was trying to get back to the bar earlier... and being me, i elbowed back... HARD. I don't give a shit if i'm an employee there, you touch me and i'll make sure you crawl out. Idiot who elbowed me stared at me when i elbowed back. As the way hokkien bengs would say "Kuah simi lan cheow???!! One to one ai mai???!"

Its been a while since i got into a fight. Don't mind hammering some idiot there either. There are a few that i just wanna slap for being born with such an ugly face.

I'm mean... who cares?

I can be very nice. But thats to people who deserve it. The rest of you can deal with the attitude... don't like it? No one asked you to come to me... t"t)

Slap nuts... it makes you a happier person. But not your own.

Viva La Nacho

2006-03-30T05:21:00.000+08:00

Just got back from work.

Was "supposed" to be ladies night... Unfortunately realise many people do not know what that means. An entire exodus of men came in. Are guys that desperate??? They were in as early as 8+ and lurking in the dark corners like perverted jack in the boxes. I don't get how their tactics work... They lurk and when a gal that catches their eye walks past they either try to strike up a conversation the lamest way possible, or when she hits the dance floor, try to get into a grind with her. If it was that easy, we wouldnt need flowers and the whole arsenal of methods and tactics to get a gal to fall for you. Those kinda shit happens ONLY IN MOVIES SUCKERS.

And if all else fails? Find a buncha buddies and hump each other in the corner like little brokeback cowboys... This was witnessed first hand earlier so its not a made up story. Three guys humping each other isnt a pleasant sight to see, and no one in the house wants to see that either. Go find a room or go to the toilet please...

However, after working there for over a year... the most successful tactic is cash. If you have it, flaunt it like a rabid peacock why don't you. Many guys use this whenever possible. It works two ways, you can impress someone with the money you have or just buy her enough drinks to get her high and then "send her home". Seen the second one backfire alot of times with the guy coming to me and ordering jugs of LIT in hope of intoxicating a female, only to in the end being clueless of where his appendages are and the lady happily sober and laughing to herself what a pathetic drinker he is. There was one guy who had this backfire on him twice in a row on the same night. Most of the time he was comatose on my counter and me laughing like a maniac when i passed by.

If you ever feel sleepy and need to stay awake, here's a newly discovered method by El Capitan. Snort SALT. I did that earlier... and boy do you get awake really quick. Its like shoving a truckload of mint candy up your nose. I was basically kicking around like a wild bronco after that. Which was maybe a good strategy too, coz customers thought me mentally ill and tried their best not to order from me. HAHAHAHAHA. Lemme tell a lil secret... We bartenders know whats goin on around us. You may think we can't see you but we can. Its just that we act blur sometimes because we don't like your face, your order sucks and its a waste of our time or we just feel plain lazy and wanna make you panic during midnight madness. Such evilness...

Yes i admit, i'm a bastard to customers coz most of the time tehy really waste my time. Asking for ice water, giving me coupons during midnight madness or asking me how much is a jug of something and not having the cash to pay for it.

It applies to both male and female... I dont give special treatment to either... Women there normally want free drinks and so try to flirt with us. Only free drink i've given to a lady was elinda but she's made her choice and i'm not one to be a third party. So yea... In fact these flirty ladies are the type i tend to avoid. In fact, havent tried to get to know any lady at work. Not like Jackson who is undoubtedly the king in this field, I'm like the poor knight on a mule. I don't have the skill and neother the passion in doing this so who cares...

light is coming, the mexicano vampire needs to siesta.

Too Strong For Too Long

2006-03-12T04:56:00.000+08:00

After 24hrs of thinking... forgive me and ignore my last post.

I'm really under so much right now i don't even think clearly anymore. So i've gievn up thinking for my own good and for the sake of others for what i say in the idiotic moments i have often are extremely not nice.

Can't sleep at all. Not like the past where i could sneak in 3 or 4 hours of sleep to get me by. But my longest snooze so far has been 2hrs... And that was yesterday after work. Everytime i close my eyes i'm haunted by elinda and adeline. They take turns to huant my nights for some particular reason. For that i can't get any sleep.

Both ladies are dear to me. Adeline is my almost exact twin, inclusive of dark side, and we can just sit and talk for hours and if given the opportunity even days maybe. However, she's not straight, but somehow i get the feeling that she's confused somewhere about where we're going. And for that reason we parted ways awhile back. Now after a few mths hiatus, she's back. This time things are different... things are almost as before before the confusion and she seems to be more "receptive"? If i could call it that.

Elinda is like my nice self and crazy self duplicated. For some reason she always seems to make me smile no matter what. We can talk for hours but not as well as with adeline. Elinda is more closed with me. Most questions are answered by a single word or sentence and to get her to talk is kinda hard at times... However we were so-called dating... But now something has gone wrong somewhere and she is also having some thoughts.

Both are people i would never hurt nor bear to see sad. But i find myself so under pressure at times to make them as comfortable as possible i never realised my ownself was like a turkey in the middle of a thanksgiving kitchen.

I guess it all boils down to the fact that i've been always the shoulder or ear that would be there for anyone 24/7. Kept myself strong for the people i feel are important and forgot that inside i was cracking up all along.

My dad is retiring next year, I need to work somehow to support myself at least and my grades aren't doing too well for me to be going into my final year of studies. My hope of getting an architectural course may be doomed to failure. I can't concentrate on anything these months, I am always tired, I can never seem to recharge fully enough to make things even more frustrating...

And i don't want anyone to worry so all the while i've kept myself to look like the man of steel never falling. Truth is i'm like a tree rotting from the inside. I can feel myself goin bit by bit... Increasingly have been prone to dark moods and my sense of humor is slipping. Smoking too much and taking too many pills. I've been constantly worrying and worrying about so many things i can't seem to relax anymore.

When will i finally get enough funds to start my driving? How will i schedule my studies next year? Will i be able to make it? If i dont get into a local course how do i go overseas? So many other worries and insecurities that i can feel the invisible load on my shoulders and my shoulder blades just feel like cracking.

Will i turn suicidal again? Will i finally give in to the depression i've always fought and won by a thread?

...angels... lend me your might...

2006-02-17T00:42:00.000+08:00

Was listening to this song "Innocent" by Fuel and this phrase just stuck in my head... hence the religious title...

Sun was unexpected... thought it would be a short thing... turned out she stayed with this moron till like past midnight. Hope she had a good time. Did my best though i was a nervous wreck... kept smoking that day... thankfully she smokes too so my smoking didnt bother her.

She kept playing with her hair though. Looked kinda nervous behaviour to me... and she kept avoiding eye contact with me at first. Thankfully i managed to pull off some antics to get her laughing and to lighten up. Hell... helped me lighten up too. Sat with my sorry ass for 2 odd hours at winebar coz some friends wanted to meet me there. Sorry bout that princess...

After tt watched Fearless with her and a colleague who suggested the movie. Maybe he was trying to give me an opening or something coz he really was the glue during that period for me and her. I wasn't that good a host sorry to say... i suck at multitask entertaining.

But alls ok i figure. Went to Phuture with her last night... Waited for her for 2+hrs but she doesnt know that and i dont plan on telling her. She already felt bad that i didnt bring any friends along coz of the short notice she gave me. Anyways... she is more easy on the phone with me when i call now... she laughs more and lets me see more of her personality.

We both are celebs in our own right to each other. Shes a celeb at phuture for being the girl that i'm supposedly dating and after last night i'm prob the guy that she's supposedly dating to her friends whom she bumped into last night there. Kinda funny.

Speaking of celeb status.... I swear i need only just stand around at zouk and someone will come up and claim they know me. Like wtf?

Had this girl who called out my name at the bar and started baraaging me with words saying we knew each other from PJ... then started introducing me to every single one of her friends there. All before i could get a word in... i didnt even know what i was doing shaking hands with all these unknown people... sheesh...

And customers start to recognise me... had one girl ask me if i was on off last night... i was like... "huh???" Meet the clubbing paparazzi.

Finals starting next week.. am so dead... i can feel it in my bones... i need divine intervention. xp

Turning point or another prank?

2006-01-24T20:02:00.000+08:00

Thanks to all who gave me words of encouragement and for being excited where i'm not.

apologies for my words of honesty i say when i'm in times of thinking too much.

I'm happier these days but that can't really be good news.

Whenever i am something comes up to remind me that life does throw you lemons without that pitcher of ice and sugar. On the bambina aka elinda issue... i'll be very honest and say i believe she's just being friendly. Why?

1. I'm not Mr tall, dark and handsome.
2. She has plenty of Mr tall, dark and handsomes around her.
3. If a girl doesnt take fancy to any of them its likely she doesn't want to be attached or she's not straight.
4. Life is not that good to me.

so yea... don't need to be all excited like terrier pups in a room full of superballs. I fear u all may be more disappointed than me. I'm used to this after the many trials and tribulations i've been thru these years. So if it turns out as another of Life's pranks I'll just laugh it off and have another of them life-shortening death sticks.

I've to admit she's a very nice person after texting with her these days... but frankly speaking... i've not business with such people. I would have done something really really good like curing cancer or bringing world peace to have someone like that. And i've not done anything like that to my knowledge...

the way I am

2006-01-17T19:52:00.000+08:00

very straight forward I am...

so hence... "A" u can do what you want to do... I don't care anymore. Seriously... After so much effort u put in to make me a hard cold shell to you, i'm happy to say u've gotten your wish. I wont give a damn what u do to urself so do enjoy.

On the other hand... i'm kinda stagnant in mood now. Not really fucked nor am i happy. Met some girl at work... thanks to some over zealous colleagues... I am the owner of her number. Sms her abit... seems nice enough. But frankly speaking... can't say i like or don't like her. Just engaging in chit chat here and there. Maybe i'll get a chance to get her out for a cuppa. She said yes but so far we've been unable to get the meeting in progress. I know alot of my friends are hoping and praying something will work out from this but please save it... all pretty much depends on the weather.

And to top it off, theres this girl i never mentioned at school. Ever since a somewhat unusual experience on the train we've always laughed at the sight of each other... only today did we actually speak to each other and get introduced. Think coz today was in more or less a zesty mood. So had some crazy in me that had to get out.

Thong's birthday is coming up. I dunno what i should get him. Call me petty or whatever but he still owes me a birthday gift from last year. I told him to forget about it but he refused so he dug his own grave and now has all forgotten about it and will again promise me something for my birthday THIS year when i hand him a present on his coming birthday. This is from a guy i've known 10 years and i havent once recieved a birthday gift from him though he's gotten a few from me.

This brings me to the topic of birthday gifts.

Its damn fucked to decide whether or not to give a birthday gift to someone coz at the same time you put this person under stress and obligation to get you a gift on yours. At the same time that person has to top your present. In the end its more of a headache.

Normally i dont mind if i get a gift or not coz i dont really celebrate my birthday. But in thong's case its more of the promise i'm somewhat ticked off about. Even if he got me a new pet army ant i wouldnt mind, its the thought that counts afterall. But its the fact he could just forget about me and yet every year can get something for other people. So yea... i'm somewhat pissed off.

But however i'm far too polite to fuck him as he is a friend. He hasn't done anything further YET to piss me off to that point so i'll leave it as that. However i would say wont be getting him something like last year. Maybe a 12 pack of Gillette Mach 3 blades....

spiders all in tune

2006-01-05T21:49:00.000+08:00

arghh.... like got so many stuff due tommorrow and i havent finished half of it...
its like i'm dead. so so dead.

And here i am blogging instead of doing the work... great job hombre...

basically need to get some stuff unloaded. I still can't forget her despite the fact she's les... like seriously i'm like quite pathetic... falling for a les. Lowest of the low.

Life is real shitty this way.

Met some interesting people anyways and ironically they turn out to be female. Clare and Mindy. I met at Li si's party. Talked quite abit with Clare on matters on religion and immortality. I think i pretty much scared her somewhat with my theories. I'm really sorry. My brain kinds of gives out these kinda devilish crap occasionally.

And Li si, if u're reading this don't worry... i won't have a picture quiz.

hahaha.

Work this weekend and monday and tues... so dead.
They had better pay me this week. I'm dry already.

realised the weather is unpredictable.
I really dunno how some guys can treat women so bad... and i dunno how some can put up with it.
Be a man and pick on someone your own damn size. Innately i'm dying to hammer this one particular guy who is giving my msn friend so much stress. If no one can talk sense into you i'll have to try with a large wrench and loosen that nut in your arse. You're damn lucky to have her, capiche? If you hurt her i will hurt you in ways you can't imagine.

right. that being done its time to get back to work.

happily confused 2006

2006-01-02T06:06:00.000+08:00

For 6 years i've looked for copies of an original. And only now do i realise the original is what've I've always been looking for.

confusing? Its a happy confusion. At the same time the original is just so close and yet some times so distant.

The weather changed 6 years ago and i lost... will the weather be on my side this year?

mad days revisited

2005-12-30T11:53:00.000+08:00

like blogging at this hour.... how unlike me...

heh. about my previous post... well... its the truth but lets just leave it as a warning and not as a direct hit. Kinda tired and bothered that day.

Anyways yesterday was blisteringly uneventful... only caps were the long msn chat with adeline in the early hours after work and the late night blitzkrieg at walas.

Good to finally catch up with the busy tired semi twin of mine in msn... don't get to chat with her much these days so that few hours after work on msn was great.

Afterwhich was msn with angel... I'm becoming a real msn freak...

Then went over to Imperial at 10++ at night to help out and see see. Hahaha. Thankfully didnt buy anything this time.

Finally an impromptu drop over at Walas for my probable last time ever. Had fun...
Some stuff happened... but not gonna say it out. It was good. But then again... so much depends on the weather.

...

2005-12-27T00:03:00.000+08:00

trust is something very important in my books.

hence if you dont trust me then dont. But don't insult my integrity. Hate being called a liar.

Looking for 22:20

2005-12-22T03:17:00.000+08:00

like its been awhile...

its friggin 0325hrs and i cant sleep. Well... isnt tt the usual? Got my new ipod. Works like a dream but the flaw is tt the bugger charges automatically when u update it so i sense a battery change aint too far away.

Feel wasted no matter how much i try to rest these bones... maybe coz of my sleeping problem, well... staying clear of medication before i get too reliant on it and anyway my supply is running low.

Have a pile of assignments to do... doing a one man show for the myriad group projects i've chosen to do solo is really one hella job. Grades slipping... at a 3.16 GPA now compared from the 3.8 i was last year. Gotta really wedgie myself and get the data flowing again. Somehow just dont have the mood to do anything.

Realised i talk to angel practically every freakin day... must stop disturbing her at work. heh. I just feel uncomfortable being too chummy with attached women... u never know what jealous manimals boyfriends can be. Speaking of which... Song has been pestering me to get a gf since last monday... sheesh... like i have the time to socialise? I dont even friggin know what movies are showing now or even remotely know where Carl Jr is... ask me how to whip up a Space 2001 or a Screaming and i can tell u in detail the amounts and concoction. Hahaha... lifeless me. Even my drinking has suffered... can't drink for nuts without having a bite to eat first. If this goes on i'm gonna topple after a LIT.

Can't blame Song for pestering me about the woman thing... probably feels like many others that i should get attached and "settle down" so to speak. Figure a lady in my life would make me laugh abit louder, smile a little more and add more life in this brain dead carcass that i am now. Thanks guys... but with all the shit i've been thru with the opposite sex i just dont really know if its worth the effort. Girlsfriends have been nothing but banes to my life. Yea i did become happy for awhile... then it became more like an ever tightening noose... Why do women get so possesive? Only thought guys did that. Couldn't hang out with friends, couldn't spend time with my pets and even less for work. Only a handful of women have struck me to be a guy's dream come true for a girlfriend. One is adeline, another is angel, then this classmate of mine, dear zhen and of course theres Jinx.

Speaking of that last one... haha... like the soda pop she is, popped up suddenly back in my life out of the blue. Went out a coupla times... was interesting... she's changed somewhat from years past. Much easier to talk to her now since she's revealed her similar crazy side to mine so i can speak freely for a change unlike with other ladies where i have to maintain the usual boring self of mine. Can't say we've been totally innocent... its shameless the way we flirt but then... whats new? xp.

On the other hand theres the lil piglet i have to take care of occasionally, ling... but i swear if she asks me to sponsor her again for shopping i'm gonna do pirouttes. Tres annoying at times since the only women i sponsor wld be my mom and my ex gfs. But then she makes up for all that by checking up on me occasionally on msn to TRY to get me to sleep though i often just set my msn to away and watch DVDs till morning.

No lack of female attention i seem to have? hahahaha... lemme say this... if u won the national indon lottery would it make u a happy person?

And no... i will not turn gay. period.

next one tt asks me that will be given the fist of death.

Met with francis. Looks as gay as ever and of course as tolerant of my shit. Sorry dude. I practice tough brotherly love... hahahaha. Its wise we only meet bi-annually or else u may actually go insane from my verbal jabs. Which of course you know i dont mean.

Look at the time.... heard 6 repeats of "Sweet Home Alabama"... time to hit the DVDs.... signing off.

Can't teach old dogs new tricks

2005-12-04T05:57:00.000+08:00

Its been an eventful week...

Learnt that am goin to be working at Zouk Out so will be situated on some tiny platform dishing out vodka redbulls and what not for 12hrs straight. Oh goodie.

Had very little sleep as per usual. When not working am busy at the keyboard banging out reports and projects or hitting the books for my upcoming tests. I seriously havent had a life for so long... so it was natural for me to hyper-ize during my only two glimpses of outside life this week.

Met with Denise, the brat princess and ruler of "meh". Was supposed to be for dinner... however, she neglected to tell me it would be with her parents, brother, bishounen sluts and extended familia at LTN Siglap. At first I was some what... reluctant... as i'm always with around parents of any kind and new people. However, thanks to some egging from Denise I was a shadow of my former self. Ended up having two teas, a milo and several beers with her parents and the familia. And I gave Her Highness a nice handprint on her arm when I misjudged my own strength. Sorry about that.

Next came my "date" with an old friend. Can't say I've ever entertained someone like that before in Starbuck's. Undoubtably many customers thought we were somewhat insane... mistake on our part for choosing to sit inside instaed of out. The interior acoustics were obviously not meant for sustained loud guffaws. Like... note to myself... no more Walas stories in public... especially about the "Siao kia".

This unfortunately was to repeat itself at Thai Express during dinner too... I think I shouldn't converse during meal time. xp

Brief these times were... but it really gave me back a part of myself thats been missing all this while... the insanely happy one.

Then I guess the reason for the AWOL persona is that I will never change.

No matter what i say or how i say about how I really don't give a fuck anymore about people. I somehow still do.

Adeline, I don't know what has happened between us. But I made a promise that I won't break to you. I won't give up on you despite how far things are along now. As Alfred put it best: "Never". I will always be there rain or shine. You may have blocked me or deleted me from MSN and ignore my texts. But when you are in need I will still be there. This is an oath i make to myself for everyone that I've had the fate to find faith in. From Song to even Angel whom I know the shortest. Because I'm a tenacious bastard, and giving in isn't what i do easily.

Maybe its just the wrong place and the wrong time. Somehow we all meet someone we in the end wish we didnt meet, not to say coz we hate 'em, but that to lose what rapport you had with each other due to just plain circumstance.

As Angel said, i will always be a nice guy. And old dogs like me can never learn new tricks.

A hitchhiker's guide to taking public transport

2005-11-27T18:13:00.000+08:00

I think among the rest of the world, this nation has to have the most unique habits when it comes to public transportation.

Lets start with the humble bus service shall we?

Whenever a bus is coming to a halt in front of a bus stop, the mad rush begins to roughly find a spot where you hope the bus's main door will be when it stops so you can get on the bus first. Its like an olympic event to see who gets the gold medal for bus boarding.

For those unable to get starting place, its time to get on board ASAP by any means neccessary. Hence, the sneaky limbs start slipping in here and there... by that i mean, trying to get a foothold or grip on the doorway of the bus so as to cut into the line and yank yourself up before the person in front or the side of you. If you can't do that then do as the old people do... just lumber in and shove like the mannerless swine they are. I don't care what you have done in your youth "for the country" but i sure as hell don't see you deserving of such respect when you have the courtesy of an african warthog.

Old people think that they have the right to do whatever they want. They cut the queue to board the bus, and if they can't cut the line, they just shove their way thru. And if you block their shove? They give you the evil eye and curse your offspring for the next ten generations.

Then there is the "Crush". I realise that all singaporeans have an innate fear of the back of the bus. So they would rather crush themselves in the first half of the bus than go to the rear to stand. I always thought there was some boogeyman at the back of the bus that lurked under the back seat till i found out that i was sitting on top of the engine. Now however, i realise that these twats are crushing themselves and preventing other people from boarding the bus because everyone has a phobia that they will be unable to get off the bus.

If you stand at the back you will not be able to make it out in time before the bus driver thinks he has let enough people off the bus and then closes the door trapping the rest in and driving off. Whoever started that rumor must be a car owner and spasming in his car with laughter whenever he sees the rush hour bus situation. And people seem to be stupid enough to believe it. Everyone refuses to go to the rear coz they fear they may not get off in the allocated time given by the driver. This is the result of an average 16 years of education... No wonder we need foreign talent.

Getting off the bus is another experience. Its another race to see who gets off first. And we've been saying our kiasuism is overstated.... And more often than not during rush hours, there are the always present "door guards" that guard the exit. Even if their stop is an hour away, they will hang on to the spot at the exit with their lives for fear they will not be first to get off or not be able to at all. And so preoccupied with thinking of the various tactics of bus alighting that they often dont notice other people trying to squeeze by them to alight whenever the bus stops.

Again old people are the best at this... the government has given so many hand grips on the bus for the sae of old folk to make sure they dont fall but whats the point? These people have feet of suction cups.... the bus can be making a sharp turn and they will be shuffling for the door poking and pushing and exclaiming various forms of "excuse me" mostly in demanding or rude tones. They dont realsie that other people do not have such powerful suction cup feet and hence need to hold on to something and hence risk falling during such a time if they were to let you go past. And as always if you dont do what they want they curse you and your genetic material for donkey generations.

If you thought the bus was bad, the MRT we are so proud of is even worse.

Don't you just notice that when theres 3 vacant seats in a row, singaporeans always take the seat in the middle. Apparenly we are phobic of human physical contact as well... That explains the low birth rate.

And then, theres the coveted corner seat everyone wants coz you only have to make skin contact with one person. However for some reason the designer of the train interior saw it fit to place transparent panels at the corner so when sit there u get a up close and personal view of someone's flattened arse in your face when the lean against it.

Singaporeans also have serious back problems that require them to lean against the poles on the trains meant for you to HOLD WITH YOUR HAND. Somehow or another they think of it as a lean to. So conveniently making several people slide and slip across the floor when the train accelerates/stops when they have nothing to hold. And no one cares. I have had to jam my hand between the pole and someones lower back only to recieve a rude stare as if i just invaded some personal space. Next one who looks like that at me will recieve some choice words from me.

Then there are the people who are illusioned that they are grossly obese and hence require 2 seats for themselves and not just one. Either thate or they think the rise between the two seats is to fit your butt crack.

Give that seat up to someone who really needs it and not to one of your butt cheeks. Like a pregnant woman or disabled person. Or that SMRT guy with the backpack and walkie talkie that wanders around the train.

What the fuck is he supposed to be? He just walks around back and forth and occasionally mumbles something in that walkie talkie of his. Is he security? Quite unlikely unless he has some serious equipment in that backpack of his that looks more like a mode of carrying his lunch and drink. What is he going to do if some nut tries to hijack the train or if he finds some ticking item on board? Mumble something in his walkie talkie and a squad of commandos comes crashing in thru the train windows? I saw a couple of americans sniggering at the bright green man walking around the train. Maybe they know his real purpose or have thought of something i havent.

An adventure each day it is just to go to campus and back.

Remember

2005-11-15T22:00:00.000+08:00

I have finally had it with being Mr Nice.

All the shit i go thru and do... what has it come to?

Friends only show up when there is a need for aid. How many give a fuck how i feel? i can seriously say theres only TWO.

I work hard at trying to be a support and good friend to someone, and what happens? I become the invisible man after awhile and i don't know why. Not even concerned enough for the friendship to evenwant to work things out. And leave me to second guess things out. Yet on the other hand can tell me that i'm a good friend. And yet i'm being treated like common dirt and being told off for being considerate for her affairs. I do these stuff coz i care and despite how much i fucking hurt i go thru i still do it. What kinda friend is that? And have the cheek to tell me thats the way things are period.

You maybe tired and stressed but has it ever occured to you that i'm equally if not more so? And i still hold in everything and be nice to you coz you dont need to be burdened by me. FUCK THIS.

People block me from msn when i cant take anymore shit and get a rare emo attack. Wheres the helping hand you can extend to others? Everyone save me it seems.

The last straw has broken the camel's back. If a certain person reads this, i don't really give a shit anymore about your nonsense. I've tried to be accomadating as possible and what do you do to me? Think about that. Have i ever once wronged you for me to deserve what you do to me? If you think that i'm an asshole than so be it. You arent the first to think so and certainly not the first to think only about yourself at my cost. Not doing anything about the situation has already shown me how much you take this friendship and trust i've given you. The ball's in your court.

And to the rest of you faggots that want to unload your problems on me at my expense. Fuck off.

Confession time

2005-11-10T08:33:00.000+08:00

I was serenading a picture last night with this song...

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you any more
Believing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing, 'cause i'm not leaving you any more
Believing
Hold on to me and never let me go

What the fuck man....

I need to end this.

Will you walk me to the edge again

2005-11-05T08:37:00.000+08:00

Trust... a very important thing to me.

And sadly enough, something crushed in a moment's madness.
Its so hard to earn and yet so easily lost... I value it among the people close to me and i may have lost it with someone i was close with.

Back to square one now.

I would do anything to turn back time and take back what i said as it really didnt matter at all... all i wanted was to make her feel better and yet i destroyed something i was lucky enough to obtain. Her trust.

Lost a confidant and maybe that one more person to that small group of people i would do anything for. Kick myself for it i do. But that really doesnt help. Only hope for once God is with me and help me mend the rift i made of my folly.

Was i too good? Or is it just my character that created the distance? Even a "How was your day?" is a question tt will hang and be unanswered. Sheesh.

Feel really bad about it and want to make things as they were.... For once can i have some reprieve?

4.09

2005-10-24T04:03:00.000+08:00

really have no mood to blog anymore...

i know i mentioned to a few friends there was some things i wanted to write about. But somehow have lost my will to write, so to speak.

When i get back what i've lost i'll probably be banging away at the keyboard... but probably not in the near future.

Widjadidja

2005-10-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

Had to go out to buy some food for my pet fish... Made the mistake of goin at the time where the girl's school across the street had just released their students from class.

Sheesh...

This is the time a guy can seriously feel uncomfortable. With all the giggly girls crowding the bus and you're shoved in a corner and so wary of where u place you're hands or even move coz you never know which crazy fucked up girl will go fuck nuts on u if accidentally brush past her hand with yours or just tap her shoulder to allow her to make way for u to get off the bus.

Plus... pardon for this... girls at this age from an all girl's school are freakin' weird. Its like they've never seen a guy before at times... Nothing can make u more self concious when they get giggly over who's gonna take the seat next to u... what a wonderful way of making someone feel like a sideshow freak.

Anyways, thankfully it was a short ride. After getting off... i met the slowest jogger in the world.

I bumped into this middle aged lady on my way to the pet store... and she was like huffing and puffing like the wolf in the "Three little pigs" and was kinda fast really... but after a good twenty minutes AFTER i had gone around looking around each and every pet store and finally bought a bag of unlucky mollies... I bumped into her AGAIN at the bus stop which was like 200 metres plus minus away from where i saw her. And she was goin at the same speed which i saw her previously. Its either i move seriously fast when i've taken my coffee or theres some friggin' time warp at the junction of Henderson road and Bukit Merah...

Then there was this simian looking man at the bus stop... looked like a malnourished gibbon with a bad hair cut and gold chain around his neck. Walked as if someone had starched his underwear till it was rock hard and at the same time superglued his armpits together. And he kept staring at me.

This is one thing abt Singaporeans i have never liked... they like to fucking stare. Like one glance isn't enough, they must burn and tattoo the image in their retinas in order to continue living if not their entire memory would go and they would forget how to breathe and collapse gasping like a dying fish. This is coming from people who tell their kids not to stare as its not polite and where the most common cause for a fight is staring at someone.

Hello~! You asked for it... so why blame it on this and that? Crap... and i share your damn nationality. I would've thought people in this time would have more brains...

Bow Wow

2005-10-04T09:12:00.000+08:00

cute huh?

When bored.... play...

2005-10-03T10:50:00.000+08:00

This is for everyone who's bored shitless at work or at school.

The Room

A retro game that will never lose its appeal...

Sonic the hedgehog

Abuse someone and have fun doing it.
Interactive Buddy

A disturbed toddler... tell him filth and watch him do it... hahaha
Stewie

Childhood memories...
Donkey Kong

DDR with a farmyard animal..
Dance Dance Revolution

Disturbingly cute and meaningless...
Ninja Cupid

More to come next time... have fun meanwhile...

Overhaul~

2005-10-03T02:29:00.000+08:00

Did a search for blog skins for someone and ended up getting myself one...

old one was kinda dull..

will use this one till i find the time to customise one.

Beer, Cigarettes and Body Hair

2005-09-30T20:33:00.000+08:00

I went, I drank and I klonkered...

Wala wala was a fuckin' blast! When the lead vox of the band wears a "KNNCCB" labelled tanktop you know its gonna be a fuckin' good time.

And though i spent like a hundred bucks for that 4 short hours of audiophilical bliss, it was freaking worth it.

But before i go to there... lets all have a look at an event that may usher in the end of the world or Jesus's second coming... Song in FORMAL attire!!!!

He doesn't look really happy doesn't he?

But he has such happy socks...

And heres a pic of a baboon

Before i get my ass kicked i shall keep the other pics i took hidden.

Anyways we got down to Wala Wala to catch the UnXpected band and basically sing along loudly like an ah beng in a KTV and rock our heads till our noses were free of nose dirt. There'll be more about that latter part later on... Due to my previous several experiences of being made to stand at the bar counter and get crushed by every single idiot that wanted to get to the toilet i made a sacrifice and got there one hour early to claim a table. Thankfully i did so. As despite someone's claim that weekdays would mean a more sparse crowd, they were WRONG. It was like a sardine's nightmare up there. You could turn around and be in a very intimate position with the person behind.

But damn... there were alot of good looking ladies around that night. Now don't give me that look... Fooling around is in the genetic make-up of every male on the planet. Our main job scope is to fuck around as much as possible and spread our genetic code thru the land. Yes... even the very decent ones too. It all boils down to you deciding if you're comfortable to do what you do. I'm the only idiot who is unattached and doesn't fool around. Even got asked if i was gay.... The next person who asks me that question will either get a verbal coup de grace or an ass whoopin' he will not forget anytime soon before he untangles his balls from his throat. But yes... i could not resist the urge to look that night coz there were really too many "chio bus'" as they call it.

Now why is it i always come across a situation where malays like to pick fights? When i'm at work at the bar, or if i'm out at another bar to relax... same scenario. Do they have some thing about fighting? Its not a hundred years ago where you can only settle disputes thru combat, and in those cases someone had to die. What, technically speaking, do you get out of getting into a fight? At the end of it you either land up in jail or land up in a big drain... either way i don't see any benefits from the whole thing. And please act tough with some intelligence, you don't challenge and cuss at a guy that looks like he could rip your skanky ass up with his ingrown toe nail. If you have the mentality of a lemming then its fine... but other than that you're just looking to have your face in the obituaries.

Ooooo... i made a racist remark... i'm such an asshole... No... its a personal observation, just as much as i observe how lame chinese guys can get trying to pick up women, and the fact that most of them have a tendency to be anal. I give out my fair share to everyone. Unless you are some race of Gandhians or Mothertheresians then theres definately something wrong with you that you just do not realise till someone points it out. Thats how change comes about.

Now here is someone that i haven't seen for 2 years or so...

For safety reasons i will not mention his name here. Hahahahaha... this bugger started doing all the shit that made me and song go nuts. From flicking nose dirt onto the butch sitting in front to attempting to burn the gross pink polo tee of the same butch and then flicking the ashes into the beer and making us drink it. That fucker really makes things go mad. However, being mad is not a bad thing.... You're head tends to get clear and somehow your shoulders get lighter. A wonderful thing it is to be in the realm of insanity especially when it comes to making some irritating fucktard drink up a mug of beer mixed with your cigarette ash and a cocktail of everyone's body hair. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... i hope the shit got the runs from that. Was funny too as after he drunk it down he had a strand sticking out his mouth and he had to pull it out... LOL

Ok... i shall stop here before i gross everyone out and you all get the runs too...

Heres Shirlyn from UnXpected... Rock on woman!

Can neer get a good pic of her coz she's always in motion. xp

When Drunken Monkeys Attack

2005-09-23T00:37:00.000+08:00

First of all apologies for making someone wait for an entry that was supposed to appear LAST friday.... haha... Was seriously too tired to type...

ok... i was procrastinating.. sue me...

Anyways, it has been an eventful week. Finally cleared all my exams. Shouldn't be that great grade wise but hope to recover my GPA next term now that i have a break from my work.

Speaking of work. My injuries from last saturday are all finally healed! We cleared out Zouk last saturday once all the drunkards and homeless people finally were made to leave the premises. What is wrong with these people that do not want to leave? Don't you have a home to go to? Or do you all just live under the bridge thats next to Zouk like die hard clubbing trolls... Not to be rascist since theres been a HUGE hoo ha about rascism in blogs... but the ones that always refuse to leave are always the... ehem... other majority race that starts with M. No offense but we are a club, not a kopitiam where you can order teh tarik or some other form of hot beverage thats made by a middle aged man wearing a sarong or dhoti and wielding two large cans big enough to be considered as weapons. Since the music has stopped and the lights are all on so everyone can see your horrible faces after 10 hours of alcohol consumption, cigarette smoke and dancing like a mindless puppet, do not fucking hang around the place like its your own personal coffee shop. We are not fucking robots. And regardless on how long you stay there i will still close the bar and NOT be serving you.

Its bloody mofos like these that caused us to only be able to start chopping up the bar at 6.30am in the morning. We were supposed to start at 5am mind you. Security had to herd them out like hooligan sheep in the end despite their constant bleating and baa-ing. But do i look like i give a rat's ass that you don't want to go home? You have been having the time of your retarded life since 8pm. I have been on my feet working non-stop since 7pm. Fuck off you.

Whats the big deal about clubbing? I don't really get it. Drinking i like. But the whole dance thingy... in Phuture all i can see are people who think they can dance and people who are practically doing the horizontal lambada on the dance floor. Alot come dressed like they are regular clubbers on the hip hop scene that know their footwork. In the end, they look like spasming antelopes in heat once Andrew Chow turns on the shit. The others... well.... lets say i will not be surprised if some female gets impregnated during the midnight madness. Its like WTF sometimes... even porn flicks do not have this much pelvic action as there is on the dance floor. I walk out of the bar to get a bottle of wino from Winebar and lo and behold, at least three couples are there with the lady RAMMING her ass against the guy behind her. Not bouncing... RAMMING... The retarded guy at the back is forever with his eyes closed and the look of extreme constipation as he tries to follow her rhythmn but in the end always fail so they look like mating geese. YEech...

Well at least there are some less animalistic people there. A few customers that i've come to recognize as regulars and the occasional friends. These are the nice people with manners and actually take us bartenders to be human and not dispensing machines where you slot money in our mouths and we piss out the drinks on the spot. These people really make your day especially when they say "thanks" and you can tell from their smile that they appreciate you breaking your back for them.

Ok... i have seriously digressed... anyways back to topic, we trashed the whole of Zouk on sunday morning. Hacked, slashed and hammered everything into carrieable pieces where we lugged to the carpark. If you think it was a clean job.... EHHH... Wrong answer. I looked like i had gone thru jungle warfare training, i was covered in mud like grease and i was limping slightly due to a crushed foot from the fridge we moved from Phuture all the way down to disco. Our hands were never once clean nor were the uniforms. So it was easy to spot any slackers that had been hiding in a toilet cubicle while we were trying to break something on our bodies the whole morning.

As a reward to oursleves, we had a company chalet. Which just ended this morning. We were probably very easily recognisable as bartenders since i doubt very few people who go for chalets bring along practice bottles and start doing acrobatics with them like some stunted chinese kid.

And since we were bartenders, how could there not be alcohol?

This was after we had all toned down mind you. We had finished several bottles of spirits before that along with a few wines.

It was kinda cool, brought my PS2 over so we had a ladies unit, a family unit, an arcade unit and a 24 hour casino unit. I swear i did not see this one guy eat nor drink the whole time he was there. He just came in, plonked himself on the floor and started dealing out cards from afternoon till the wee hours of the morning... Talk about hardcore.

Then a colleague of mine brought his kid along too. All 1 1/2years of attitude. His daughter has the best facial expressions i have seen for a kid her age. Its like she can already express sarcasm and that "i'll-get-my-dad-to-beat-the-shit-out-of-you" look. HAHAHAHA...

I was trying to avoid her when ever i had to take a smoke, till then i realised that her mom was smoking there right beside her and so were the rest. I was like... thats not right.... if i have to take a smoke i try to do t AWAY from kids and people who don't so as not to poison anyone else. But my intentions here were basically... for nothing???

Kids do grow up fast... take this for example...

Testosterone Filled Tyke

And just to lighten up the moment, this video really cracked me up as i would definately love to ask a few politicans to do the same thing. Courtesy of my favourite webby The Hedonistica.

Cheney asked to do the unspeakable

WOW... would you look at this entry....

I think i'll stop here before i hammer out a novel. Anyways need to sleep... feel like i got dinged by a sledgehammer.

Cue the Crazy Techno Kung Fu Music

2005-09-08T18:51:00.000+08:00

A tub of yoghurt, one big spoon and I'm a very happy person.

Anyway notice much of the people viewing my blog are from overseas. Which is fortunate as i do not need to put up with the crap the locals like to dish out when they realise they are hopeless at using a keyboard for anything else save playing online games where they make believe they are gay looking characters dressed in ?armour and clothes that make Robin Hood look like Clint Eastwood. Before this sounds offensive, i specifically mean those locals who hurl shit like rabid baboons in the zoo whenever they find someone more talented are better off than them. These are the sad primates that will only stay so far in the evolutionary scale and a century down the road their grand offspring should have excessive body hair and large chins and heavy brows. They would probably be the only kids in class that would pronounce the letter "O" as "Oogh".

I go too far you might say?

Well.... If they do not consider what they do then why should i extend the same courtesy? I'm such a lover of my fellow countrymen... *cue sarcastic laughter*

Did any of you see the Kanye West video? That was funny shit coz he probably was too fuckin' high on weed to even know why he was there on TV in the first place. Chris Tucker probably snorted something on hearing that "Bush doesn't care about black people" comment... he was seriously zoning out there like a hamster on a sugar high. Please, its a very well known fact that racism is everywhere. However, if you go on national television making a fool of yourself while being high on something illegal, it doesn't help to show people how big a mistake they made with you.

In case you DIDN'T see the video.... here it is... Courtesy of TheSuperficial....
Kanye West is an Idiot

I have to take some "self-enrichment" course during my one week break. Another waste of time and money. Wanted to take leisure canoeing but its only 2 freaking days and i doubt we will go any farther than the broken down fishing raft anchored off the wharf. So i turned my sights elsewhere.. and came up with... tempura making...

WTF u might say....

i enjoy cooking ok? Influenced from my mom... if you gave me a choice of watching a movie or cook i would choose the latter. No shit.
But somehow i think my tempura thing would wind up like this idiot who's trying to be the "Shaven Chef"

Shaven Chef

*WARNING: Fucking Boring*

Time for a break. Gonna poison myself... till another time...

Fading in the Smoke of a Barrel

2005-09-06T20:10:00.000+08:00

Ever woken up feeling strangely out of touch with your feelings. Sorta like you're on a perpetual stoning trip save for the fact that you're perfectly fine?

This has been one of those days.

Seriously feel fucking weird. Its like i expect myself to start seeing dancing baboons in technicolor dreamcoats and pink mastadons dancing round my head in a while. But yet i feel so awake. Maybe this is what you get from inhaling cat's fart in your sleep. Garfield must've let a big one fly while i was snoring in bed last night.

If i market it as a recreational drug i wonder whether i could corner the drug industry....? It doesnt make you all goofy but you do get that high brain feeling of detachment. Hell, i dont think it kills brain cells either. AND its cheap... I could just have a cat fart farm and plug these tiny vacuums on cats' arses and collect as much of the crap as i needed and maybe refine it to give a bigger kick.

Hell... i would give that shi sha, sha sha whatever place opposite paradiz centre a run for its money... C'mon in! Take a chair snort some feline fart and watch the game! And all this during your lunch break... without the risk of getting arrested or fired from your job. You will even be spared from the clownish acts that come with getting high on drugs like photocopyin your pimply arse or trying to make out with the boss's octagenarian mother...

Ok ok... i'm getting abit sick with that last one...

Anyway, realised my pool of good friends is shrinking and my pool of casual friends is getting larger... so i have plenty of people i can hang out with but can't say shit among them and a miniscule number of people i can just be myself with.

The guys have all disappeared... Thong and the rest of the old GESS people have vanished like the hairs of Hulk Hogan's head... Song has his stuff to do... and other things i won't mention here. Stelvin has gone to Thailand... Zhen, Celia and co. have suddenly vanished too. Maybe this is the reason why this place is so little like home to me. The only person at work i can speak my mind to is not being very communicative and i realise i spend more time with my ipod than people these days.

Fuck.

Well... part and parcel of getting a job and a 'normal" life as my mom calls it...
At least i still have Garfield... Can't help but wonder if he can actually understand it when i ramble to him about nothing in particular and he stares back in an almost human expression of concern.

Parents were right though... I'm more fated with animals than my own kind. I guess its coz they're much simpler just like me. The persistent one refusing to get complicated with the rest of the world.

Come Undone

2005-09-04T06:58:00.000+08:00

Despite what the title seems to be... this isn't a depressing post.

The day was so so... Did some PR for my forum as part of the local charter. Was good to catch up with old friends.Kinda surprising since everyone there is like at least seven years older. Time really flies... everyone now has a wife and kid. My friend's daughter is so much bigger than when i last saw her. Can't believe it was her... Which means i've completely taken to living it day by day. Time in my perspective is only limited by the hours in a day. I have reached the state of absolute-couldn't-care-less-if-the-world-ends-tomorrow enlightenment. I am zen master He-who-sits-on-cacti, student of He-who-shat-on-cacti and priest of Do-i-look-like-Mother-Theresa-to-you cult of cow udder worshippers.

Had a few hours of free time after that, basically three hours before i was due to haul myself in for work so i plonked myself in town for a heavily sweetened and caffienated beverage and sat outside like a diseased buzzard looking for fresh roadkill as i indulged in my fav past time... people watching.

Hell lot better than bird watching, animals have less idiosyncrasies than humans. For example, its the first time i witnessed a backpacker march along Orchard Road with a backpack big enough to fit a pony and wearing a navy blue four buttoned blazer like what sea captains wore during the days of the Titanic. Plus a pair of beige pants and sports shoes. There are several things wrong with this picture.. Number one, the weather is like freaking 30 degrees. And you're feeling cold?? Number two, who the hell wears a blazer during a backpacking tour? Its either you seriously believe this country is so anal that if you wore a t-shirt here once you left the plane you would get arrested and interrogated for not being neat.

Then there are the various people who dress up in gear that would make Ray Charles flinch... I saw some kind of golfer mix punk metal look worn by this "mutt"... I call him that coz i can't find a better word to describe him. Complete with the ten inch spikes of hair on his head that make him look like a brown Statue of Liberty. I always need to either suppress a gag while trying not to snort the coffee i'm having out my freaking nose when these people walk past with the flair of runway models... Yea, you guys are so designer sia.... like fucking airplane crashes. I rather see a hairless Doberman's behind than you.

Work was horrible... my limds could not co-ordinate themselves with my brain for some reason. Felt bad in every physical way, had the feeling of drifting. And need i say that thats not a good sign. Fortuately i did not cause any fatal accidents and managed to get my arse home. For once i'll be able to sleep normally till the weekend... Which is prety important now that my exams are coming...

As a parting message to noone in particular, you don't need to thank me for what i do, and you will never need to.

Kreegah Bundalo

2005-09-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

i'm slacking like a sack of wet kitty litter....
just finished a powerpoint presentation for tomorrow and conveniently forgot about the other project due tomorrow too. and i'm too bushed to do programmin now...

so i've been sinfully surfing for nonsense and have decided to share my loot with the rest of ye...

A good example of the dangers of sliding with slippery shorts. Attracts metallic structures to your crotch.
Goalpost meets Genitalia

A Korean game that would drive a leprechaun nuts....
Four Leaf Madness

Nothing much to say really today...too stoned to say anything coherent... hence i bid you all "Kreegah Bundalo"

Gobbledygook

2005-08-30T18:09:00.000+08:00

Its a disturbing world when you see Fiona Xie kissing a skinny faggot ah beng with a hair style that is screaming "EMO'" to the world.

And yet thats what i saw this morning on my way to school on the damned TV Mobile. You know how many men i singapore were cursing and swearing under their breath at that point of time?

Whats so fucking great about the Singapore Idols? I still don't get it... so they've won a highly over rated karaoke competition, that makes them what? Gods?
I've heard many other people who have better talent and voices than them, with voices that can cover more than just pop music... These guys ain't even up against the best on the island. Sheesh... i get more talent spending time at Wala Wala.

Oh yes... i was very disturbed when i saw what they telecast next... the preview of the local production of Peter Pan. Now as i recall... peter pan wore near non existant shorts and maybe green ridiculous stockings... But i do not remember him wearing a sports bra. What is wrong with these people??? Its PETER pan... not PETRA pan... i have a suspicion these people enjoy making kids wear gay clothes or cross dress and laugh at their parents clapping like maniacs and cheering them on as they prance and sing on stage like drunken hobbits in drag.

The whole country is muddled...

this makes david blaine look gay...
ShadowTrick

And So It Is

2005-08-28T13:01:00.000+08:00

Skipped work at the bar last night... went to Wala Wala for relaxation therapy with Song instead. Shared five jugs of beer among the two fools of us...

So it isn't surprising if i got a tad high since i havent drunk any liquor since god knows when... The band was fantastic though... started of with a great set... Kudos!

But somehow drink and a certain selection kinda made me more melancholy than happy... More so when they started playing Radiohead and Damien Rice...

All i've ever wanted was someone i could have intelligent conversation with instead of being asked the same ol' shit like "Do i look fat?" "I'm ugly" and all the mind numbing banter.. Basically i do realise that gals hang around me just as long as it takes for them to unload their troubles on me then afterwhich will say crap like "You're girlfriend will be so lucky" blah blah blah... I DO NOT NEED YOUR FUCKING SYMPATHY. I don't feel sorry for myself and i don't need someone who's life requires constant direction from someone else to give me that. Enough about whatever fictitious girlfriend i will have in the future... i'd rather you tell me winning lottery numbers than about that.

And the best part is when i've found someone i can chat like this with... Its someone i will never get. Now i know how a donkey feels with a carrot dangling in front of it.

There is so much i would like to tell her...

I guess its summed up in this song...

"And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is (he has)
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is (he has)
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is (he has)
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say you better want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new"

The Odyssey aka Nice Guys Can't Smell The Finish Line

2005-08-27T06:23:00.000+08:00

I owe an apology... to the foolish bum of a good friend that naively agreed to go out for breakfast and coffee with me after work. Little did he know what we would be doing...

So... sorry dude for making you trek the thousand miles which we did.

It started off as some good old fashioned banter during a rare meet up which is mainly my fault due to my oh-so-busy schedule.I think the coffee we took was laced with marijuana... From joking about the faggots sitting next to us to just plain blasting each other verbally just for the entertainment. It seriously was good. Its been awhile since i had a cuppa and people-watched along Orchard Road. Well... after the matter of my goin to work was brought up, suddenly came the insane idea that could only be dreamt up by the Devil's own retarded twin... "Let's go for coffee and breakfast after i finish work!"

Ok... lemme tell you about my buddy first... He is not nicknamed "Polar Bear" for nothing by yours truely. He doesn't sleep. He HIBERNATES. So asking him to go without sleep for one entire night is like asking Dracula to go for a tanning session. Unfortunately the guy agreed... and thats where the Odyssey began...

After picking up something after work i picked him up in a cab at 5am plus in the morning and we headed to Al Ameen where we ate and decided that we had made a serious error... hahaha... Its the kinda time where after caffiene, you don't feel like sleeping but feel serious bored at the same time. So that gets you abit, as we call it in Singlish, "Sian". After an hour's dawdling at the coffeeshop another inane idea was brought up... "Let's take a damned long bus ride and sleep on the bus!" Bad move...

So the trek began...

it was a good 10 minutes trek across terrain like the Serengeti...

Check out how dead we were.... Old men tire easy what can i say?

Finally managed to get on a bus packed with people goin to work or kids goin to school.. can't remember how we were actually able to wake up at this sorta hour sling our asses on a bus when we were in their shoes...

I hate noisy school kids...

My friend falling asleep within the first 30 seconds of sitting down didnt help my insomnia...

So i decided to take depressive shots of the ride....

And the fucked up thing was... i only managed to fall asleep 10 minutes away from the end of the line.... And was greeted by this unfriendly light in the sky...

God, i feel like a vampire right now... We finally decided that it was not possible to walk till SMU opened its doors so we were in search of a place to lie down.

Is it me or does all the homeless on he island congregate at Marina Square to bed down? Or is it simply that Marina offers the best facilities for making your bedroom in public? Weird stuff you see when noone's about yet...

Anyway, we thought we found a nice spot till we realised why there wasnt a homeless guy sleeping around there... When the sky lit up with some electric lights and the dawning upon us that we were the only electric conductors within a fifty metre radius... You can imagine we got out of there in a hurry, despite someone's protests that there was no lightning....

We continued out trek and finally found.... SALVATION!

So we broke in and finally sat down on some mightily comfy chairs... Guess who slept almost immediately?

And the runner up?

For those who want to try this insane thing... Pack the essentials like the goose himself...

Ipod and a bag of dirty clothing... go homeless in style~

After the nice auntie at the cafe gave us our coffee, we felt kinda better as espresso ran thru our veins...

apparently thats not all that caffiene does to you as shown here:

Kids please seek parental consent to do this if you aren't above 20...

That was on thursday morning, friday night i had to go back to work...

I hate cheapskates. You all can go fucking kah nee nah buay chao chee bye go and kiss my white ass and sod off! When people are rushing to order during midnight madness so as to take advantage of the 1 for 1 offer, you fucktards show up and thrust coupons at me... eh... if it was my last day at work, i would have lined you all up in a row and slapped your faces like a bad domino game. People with cash are rushing and you guys rush also. FOR WHAT??? You won't lose out. You don't get free drinks so why are you rushing too? There can be only one answer... YOU ALL ARE A FLOCK OF RETARDED SHEEP. Everytime i have to bypass a PAYING customer for the sake of tapping a glass of beer for someone with a coupon i want to take that coupon and shove it up the person's nose and make him inhale it into his rectum. FUCK OFF.

I'm such a nice guy people say... people say that i will get good stuff for what i've done blah blah blah... girls say that my girlfriend would be very lucky blah blah blah... But who are you all trying to kid? If you can't lie for nuts then just shut the hell up... i feel like a cancer patient being comforted by zookeepers saying that i only have a bad case of cloven hoof.Its very well known that nice guys only get the girl in movies and have good stuff happen to them only in fairytales. So what you're saying only makes us want to punch your lights out and then bury u chin deep in fire ants.

We don't finish last.. we don't finish at all. But who cares? I will still be here when my cells die.

When Drunk Please Put Up The XMas Tree

2005-08-23T20:32:00.000+08:00

To the motherson of a fruit that has been goin around spamming mine and my friends' blogs... I dont really give half a flying fish about some backwater "company", who's idea is a moss covered log cabin with the faint smell of rancid mold. Oh wow... its a logging company which has three employees, Uncle Joe Bob, One Legged Tim Tim and Mildred the dairy goat and its gone public. If i ever track you down, i will spam you so hard you would think that the internet has crashed on your sorry ass and shoved a trojan worm up your retentive rectum.

Ok... cussing done, lets get back to business. Had a farewell dinner for my colleague last night... May no one ever dare to tell me they will gorge themselves on my tab. heh heh heh... Watched a lame ass local movie after a stint at the Marriot. Only entertaining part of the movie was the drunk scenes, swearing and blood letting which i was probably the only mofo laughing hysterically at. I sincerely apologise to the rest of the cinema goers that had to put up with my hyena like laughter as i watched two fifty year olds stab each other with a cockscrew. I can't imagine that its possible for someone to plunge it that deep in someone else without having to twist it in. Plus of course there were various happenings in the movie that seemed so very out of place. Like the ability of a totally drunk man who is crawling along the floor to assemble a fake christmas tree, hang the lights nicely and then plug it in, after which, proceeds to catch a fish out of his aquarium and clean, deep fry and consume it. Funny shit.

Afterwhich we had coffee and got stood up. Wasn't the gal's fault anyway... poor thing was seriously busy. Anyway, while we were waiting we entertained ourselves with poor phototaking and ended up with....

For your info, the thing in my mouth is a tiny pen torch and not a cigarette. Hence the unearthly glow like that of a flaming fart.

The latest object of my desire at the moment....

Auction

Will any kind soul buy this for me? Pleeeeezzzzzzeeee?
I'm such a accessory maniac... Ha... Actually its coz i'm missing a pair of nice shades ever since i lost my Oakelys back on the return flight from Taiwan. I still rue that day. Dammit!

Tommorrow i shall run the gaunlet of tests, vaccinations and a crowd of alcohol starved undergrads. I seriously am not looking forward to tommorrow. The recent political troubles behind the bar counter have not made me anymore enthuastic to head down to work my ass off for ten hours. Furthermore the dinner provided sucks big time, i've seen far more edible stuff being scrapped off car windshields at petrol kiosks. So its not uncommon to see me eat only lunch on wednesdays, fridays and saturdays. Tragically, the break from work i was hoping for is only AFTER my exams. So i will still be struggling to juggle revision and my work schedule. Looks like i'll need to get an IV set to drip unadulterated caffiene into my viens for next 3 weeks.

Got myself a reprint of J. O'Barr's The Crow. I really love the graphic novel. Been wantin to get it for some time now. Often wish i could have a love that is as deep as Eric and Shelly's... But that happens only in fiction. Nowaday's its all about how much income i make and whether i drive a car. These two conditions were from my most recent ex girlfriend so please don't say it isn't true. Guess its the bloody country's fault... but truthfully, its our own damn fault really. We can always NOT change to this way, but of course being human we always go with the flow and blame it on society. Its like sheep swearing at the border collie blaming it for their flocking behaviour.

Getting tired... Goin to sleep off the fatigue and hope Garfield doesnt fart on me later.

To all a Good Night~

Fine Again

2005-08-21T06:45:00.000+08:00

Title of one of my fav. songs...

Just returned from work and thought thru alot of things while walking back at 5am in the morning when everything is between light and dark. Very good time to see things in perspective, trust me on this... especially when there's a good breeze blowing against you and your clothing flapping in it like some maniacal pigeon about to take off.

So far i've been hammered left, right and center and to be frank, there isn't anything i have to look forward to for tomorrow or even the next millenia. But i'm not gonna seppuku myself yet... As far as i know, i'm not ready to die just yet. Coz theres a feeling you get, that you're supposed to be somewhere else but you just don't know where. I want to figure that out. Somewhere on this spinning sphere of dung is a place that calls to me in my subconcious, I will find it. Before that dying isn't an option.

I realise i never manage to get the girl i like but always instead get stuck with someone whom i have no interest of. Is it coz i'm too soft and don't wish for the other half to get hurt and hence i keep my mouth shut and maintain Joker like grins when they ask me if it feels the same. I know how it feels to reach out for someone and get struck down just as you're about to ready sacrifice everything for that someone. It hurts BAD. But thats no excuse for me to do what i did. So i guess the probs i face now come from karma. Or just the powers that be version of a unusual ironic joke.

Told i was old fashioned... hmmm... so opening doors for ladies and not trying to break up couples is old fashioned? I dunno... always thought that was the right thing to do. Its about HONOR. Before you think of some crazed sushi chef wielding a large cleaver and screaming "Dozo!", i do not mean that samurai code thing. Its just that bit of personal integrity that you are entitled to have. Many friends tell me, if you like the girl, as long as she isn't married she's fair game. WTF? C'mon... thats just fucking wrong. Why would you break a happy couple up? So that you can take over? Its like goin over to a person's pad and slowly move in one article of furniture at a time and at the end of it all, confine the owner to live in a toilet cubicle at the back. Shit, what is wrong with people? Ok, I admit the opening doors for ladies and my carrying stuff for them is a tad 1800s... but thats kinda natural to me. If i'm walking with any girl and a door comes up, i automatically zip forward and hold the door. Scary shit... I'm possessed by the spirit of "Ol' Jaswant" the Doorman that expired while holding the door at the age of 98. Carrying stuff for a girl is just the right thing to do esp. if u see that its heavy or she's tired... to hell with women's lib... if nature intended that all women would look like chyna. Its just something right to do ya? i mean, its perfectly fine to give women a break once in awhile.

Now please do not ask me if i have gay tendencies... I will slaughter you and mount your sorry ass hide upon my living room wall and hang your right leg over my com. I'm very straight thank you very much. I just think differently from othe guys. I'm slightly homophobic to be frank. Which means i start to search for an offensive weapon when some gay is in the vicinity. No offense. If you're not gonna try to come on to me like a sick puppy who sees all standing objects as a bitch's arse then i'm well and fine with you. Try some of that funny shit and i'll bitch slap you like shiva and send you in a DHL Jumbo box and ship you to where the nanook roam.

Before i end off... lets have a look at the most scary shit you will see...

hahaha... its me! Please don't tell me i'm KISS... i will slap you so hard you would think i'm your mama.

Rain Forever

2005-08-20T13:17:00.000+08:00

"I need an easy friend
I do with an ear to lend
I do think you fit this shoe
I do won't you have a clue"

I know what a dope feels like now. What a colleague asked me was quite true.. "Do you think you really stand a chance?" Yes... what a dope i've been. I don't stand a chance at all. I'm like Dumbo who hopes to take part in the Olympic hurdles and expect that my ears won't get in the way. Hence. i'm calling it quits... I've stopped text-ing with her.

It can't rain all the time? Oh but it does....

The Flowers Bloom Early In May

2005-08-16T21:45:00.000+08:00

The title for this entry was from some gibberish i spouted last saturday. Just in case you were wondering.

Getting down to business.... I don't know if i've been played like a sock muppet by fate or if some hungry ghost is screwing things up for me coz i happened to fling a piece of trash unintentionally at it and is now on my back like an invisible monkey. I finally can start to complete the dying project of mine and wouldn't you know... an integral part of the formula is missing and my classmate gave me the wrong one so i'm now twiddling my thumbs and wishing for the spirit of Einstein to possess me and complete the crap for me in like 30 seconds.

On the other hand, theres this lady i met at work which i can't seem to decide if i like her or not... Well.. . we've been texting each other practically everyday for nearly two weeks now. We talked for four hours when we went for coffee after work and she calls me sweet stuff like Dear and Hon. However, she can't seem to talk to me in public or among the other co-workers. Shy? I have no idea... And just when things look so bright for me and my friends who are reading this drivel start to do "the Wave" and prepare to permanently burn the hair folicles off my scalp with their knuckles there is a Donkey Kong sized monkey wrench thrown into the works. You see, she gets all hot and cold... One moment there tellin me she's there if i need to talk whenever i need it and even bought for me barley water when she heard i had a fever she also starts to run when i get close at times.

So whats up? i have entirely NO idea... Its like a tennis game and i'm the furry green dyed baboon testicle thats being whanged around the court. I would get better chances knowing whats goin on if i spun a wheel and see where it stopped. She's a nice gal don't get me wrong, and i have the urge to take her up in my arms and protect her from whatever scum the earth has to offer when she tells me her issues. But i have no idea whats she thinking and i could just maybe be hallucinating from excess cat fur inhalation.

Next on the list, before i can start doing the Irish jig of Freedom i have recieved news that the next round of exams are coming in another three weeks or so... Yippee Ka Yay... Its like getting on your horse just to notice that its Bessie the Demented Dairy Cow. I might do better flinging boots at baboons and hoping that they put them on and start whistling John Denver. That made no sense whatever but i'll keep it... its been awhile since i said something like that spontaneously. I have no idea how i'm goin to get thru this round of exams... hitting the knees nightly in hope my workplace will shut down for renovations earlier so i can at least study at night.

Watched my favourite movie of all time today... The Crow! When i watch that i feel one with the darkness of the world and the feeling is surprisingly comforting. I even have an idea for a painting. The world is getting darker admit it... and i rather blend in with the true dark than that of mankind's man made one. We as a species will not last for another millenia that i can guarantee... i doubt i will even be able to live out the entirity of my natural life without being slain in some apocalyptic event. Which brings me to why i love The Crow. I have always wanted to be an "undead". Its not the power but the fact that you're a step out of the world. the rules don't apply to you anymore, in theory you're free. And well... as everyone is, i don't wish to die.

No matter what crap someone says everyone fears death. Its the thought of what happens after you die. I don't want to die cause death to me is the blanking out of conciousness. The end of thought of everything... like an old tv you just go blank, not even static. Others think of Hell... yes... the place we you go when you've been naughty... to experience how the extra crispy chicken at KFC feels and to be tormented by baboons with wings and flesh eating crickets. I don't get it... Supposedly if you believe you won't go there so why fear death? I figured they would take joy in dying... Afterall you're goin to heaven... place of eternal singing and clouds as far as the eye can see... not to be mistaken for a particular asian capital. What do i know?

Ok... time to get back to the grind... till next time...

Bang! Kapow! Splat.......

2005-08-15T16:44:00.000+08:00

Got shot down for an extension for my overdue project. I was told that my night job was my problem hence there was no allowance for me to extend my deadline by 2 days. Oh wow... the milk of human kindness is everywhere these days. Maybe if i told them i had West African Baboon fever for several days they might extend my deadline by five minutes while i turned beet red and started frying an egg on my forehead.

So i technically have like 20 marks out of 100 deducted off my score since i didnt hand up my project on time and am unable to do my presentation today. I might as well hand in a wad of paper and some gum wrappers in attempt to bribe the roaches marking my project. Further more, the school has completely not offered the software we so desperately need for this project hence i am unable to finish the project at home on the weekend which is my only free day and hence need to book a computer that limits me to use it only for ONE HOUR. I'm so thankful. Conveniently, the software i need is also unavailable for download or for sale so i'm totally screwed by a giant baboon.

I love my school.

I wish to celebrate its birthday by lighting a few candles.

Preferably some jumbo sized ones like the ones you see on the roadside for the Hungry Ghosts and placed near the asbestos lined ceiling.

What a lovely way the school would burn.

On a Feather And Some Mumbles

2005-08-14T20:47:00.000+08:00

If none of you get my title of this entry don't bother thinking about it too much...

I am stressed for once. Cue insane screaming. *pause*

Normally i'm quite laid back. However the pressure of several megatons of projects which i'm doing ALONE and my screwed bodyclock and immune system which has failed in its duty to get me well and instead induces me to hack out large volumes of gunk every morning like a cat with a Volkswagon sized hairball stuck in its throat, has caused me to start sprouting grey hairs which people have started plucking from my scalp after work like happy baboons.

*deep breath*

I need like a medication that will keep me awake for 36 straight hours and induce my brain to kickstart. Unfortunately nothing i know of inclusive of certain "recreational" unorthodox medication can do that. I might be awake but i would probably trying to figure out how my hands got so big.

This is really embarrassing since i expect more from someone who has gone thru 16 hour work days with my superior from the depths of Hell's toilet. If there was a Devil he would probably qualify as the combination of his nose pickings, ear wax, dandruff and body hair. I used to be able to tough it out in ths sun or in a unventilated cell among the various oils and grease of the known world and cracking my fingers and knuckles with an assortment of heavy objects. Now a stack of engineering math causes me to break out in cold sweat. How the mighty have fallen.... well... not so mighty...

I really regret not popping pills and sleeping thru the weekends as i should have and instead ended up sleeping in class and now am completely stumped on what i should do. My grades have dropped by a grade each. No more A's for this sod. And now my projects are in a semi state of completion here and there... like some half eaten carcasses ravaged by baboons.

I need to somehow straighten myself out and try to get things in order just like during Midnight Madness. In the meantime, i need COFFEE... a thirtysixple Espresso would do the trick... or maybe just pop the beans like beer nuts... XP

Nothing Else Matters

2005-07-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wanted someone but yet too afraid to reach out and make contact? Then just watch as that person that you would have fought thru throngs of rabid cannibals and yet lose all spine when it comes to calling that person or melt into a pool of primordial soup when you two meet, rides into the sunset on the horse of some stranger while you are left with Tonto the Mule?
You can then never get the person you want but always end up by mistake with someone else and after awhile everything falls apart and you're left on your ass in the rain and a suitcase on your cranium. Its things like these that often make you think that whats the point if the whole love thing... what you wouldn't do to shoot Cupid down with a myriad of guns that would make Arnie swoon.
Well... join the club... I'm one such idiot who obviously realises the prob but is too much of a moron to solve it and find the courage to call someone at the wrong time or if its someone else and in the end gets into a royal mix up and having too kind a heart to do the right thing end up wasting yours and someone's elses time till the two of you cant stand each other.
What a SAP I am.... now its too late to do squat about anything so boo hoo to me ya? Best part of all is that when how the person can add insult to injury and declare you as a life long buddy or something... yea... why don't you just give me some Dettol and tell me "Yam Seng"? When i start spasming on the floor please call the ambulance only until a fat lady with a viking helmet and cast iron bra appears from behind the couch and sings "Aud Lang Syne".
On another note, the NKF aka NowKennaF*** is really distracting me from my test revision. I can't help it but be amused by someone who was formerly a practicing lawyer for ten years and make the mistake a senile, toothless old folk that speaks all three forms of chinese dialect save for chinese itself and english will never ever make; screw with the government.
Sueing some low paid salary worker is one thing... TRYING to sue a government backed media powerhouse is another. Its like kicking a rhino in the arse and see if it will roll over and die for you. What happened? Got hit in the head with a tap? If you wanna take a bite out of that, better check whether who's behind you preparing to excavate a new MRT line.
To top it all off, no sign of apology nor a tinge of remorse over the whole fiasco. Skin is as thick as th armor of a battleship... Jesus Tap Dancing Christ. I at least have a valid excuse to be a moron, what's yours?

Watch the Birdies'

2005-05-19T06:40:00.000+08:00

No. Its nothing to do with gay porn you sick pervs.

Don't ask me why i said that. Things just pop out of my head and i say it. I'm a direct translation person. From brain comes the direct unadulterated messege from my oh-so-vocal mouth. Hence, i often give the wrong answers for delicate situations. Therefore the people who thought i looked to be the next Prime Minister since i was 10yrs old, thank your lucky stars that i have no ties with the government besides my army reservist duty. Unless you want to see this island being bonmbed back to the Afghan age then go ahead and have me elected and i'll wave fondly to you all while i'm jetting off in a private plane and headed for Jamaica with a very fat Swiss bank account of embezzled money as the bombs start falling like hail.

I dunno why i can't stop talking sometimes really. Maybe its to make up for all the words i didnt say all those years past where my parents thought i was mute and my peers thought me as some freaky kid who was goin to be most likely to go postal when he's sixteen. Well... i didnt go postal at sixteen but i did look like it at eighteen or so i was told. Maybe i find the need to get all that stored up vocabulary out of my system before i like slow down at age 50. That is if i get to reach that age. Sometimes i can't stand the silence, so i have to speak... and that often is the gibberish you sometimes hear when my mind just comes out with some obscure statement or sound.

Maybe its because I am a loner for so long that i can't bear to face the darkness of the past life i had. I've been a sorta outcast by choice in the first half of my 22yrs of existence. Don't ask why i chose to walk that path. Let's just say i have certain monsters in me that have to stay locked up within and hence i must walk a path different from others. I've gone thru and still have depression and i still wrestle with my mind on certain areas.

My craziness and almost optimistical spirit i have now is almost unlike what i'm typing now. Some might say i want sympathy or attention. Well.... in that case i might as well have done it earlier. Frankly speaking, there isn't more than a handful of people who know of my problem. Many just think i'm just being immature at times and just out of my mind. I cant explain really why i am this way. Just like how i can't explain my inability to cry or show geniuine sadness and even love.

I'm a messed up person and i admit it. I don't car what people say, they haven't been in my shoes for a day. I've drank and smoked till i've a memory problem and my reflexes are getting slower. I feel dulled, jaded and cold. I can't feel a damned thing really.

Why i am baring my soul here now i have also completely no idea. Maybe its just because i've realised that i'm not the only one. And i wanna be the person to try to be optimistic for others in m position. I'm not worthy of that role.

I just want to get certain things over with. And i guess that the first step is for me to look in the mirror and face the person who's looking back at me.

Redbull gives you wings... So fly to Al Ameen~

2005-05-17T12:10:00.000+08:00

So the saga continues, I shall now bitch and rant like a whiny slut and then get a barrage of flaming electronically sent letters, digits and symbols from a number of friends threatening to not friend me anymore. In the immortal words of the Singaporean... "So?!"

Like lets start with my oh-so-exciting job. I still don't understand how people can gasp and comment how cool it is to be a bartender. Lemme tell you... You're all watching too many damned movies! I work in the Shaolin monastary of Kim Seng Road, they make me memorise the three golden rules and pack me off to carry multiple pails of ice across uneven terrain and up several flights of stairs while practicing the ancient art of qing gong so that i will be able to walk on water in another ten years like Jesus did in the bible. Then i will go to Hongkong and make a gongfu movie with Jackie Chan and Stephen Chow and call myself FiFi.

To those who think a bartender is like the coolest person on the planet... please take over my job for a day. When you have like forty five thousand hands waving in your face while you are trying to make sixty flamming lambourghnis, its not cool anymore. Its like Resident Evil where a hand will just lurch out somewhere and grab you and then you see this zombie like face mumble something over the loud music so that it looks like some bad B grade horror flick where you just see the mouth moving to the background music of "Mr Lonely" and the chipmunk singing just adds to the horror.

Then when you see this 100kg keg start gyrating in front of you, your eyes will start bleeding. Then some person will just spray vomit all over the bar and start spasming in front of you, making you wonder whether he's high on drugs and is goin to die in front of you. You will then start to wonder if you should get security or just watch how the twat dies.

How stressful is the job? I've lost weight till the shorts and pants that i wore 2 years ago are too loose now. Even the pair of jeans i had in primary 5 keep dropping off my waist. For those who desire to have a high heartbeat rate and lose weight fast this is the job for you.

I'm like super off... went clubbing for 24hrs with Stelvin and Angie. Like i hate you and i spasm. Next time must finish watching "Shutter" and Heh all the way whenever the long haired one appears. Stelvin stop spaming and telling us that you hate us. You love us you mofo.

How off were we? We were the only three chinese in the six million melayus at Tunnel which was where my stomach gave up one me and i puked on the staircase and afterwhich looked like a vampire that hadn't drunk blood for like 3 weeks. Like Van Helsing would be chasing me with a wooden stake and a large mallet saying the last rites in dutch.

Then we were saying to go to sentosa yeaterday but ended up sleeping till 7.45pm and ended up goin to Al Ameen to eat prata, naan and drink all three kinds of tea. Like don't ever eat bisteak kering ever.

Now i have an insane mood to get a tattoo on my shoulder and arm or the back of my neck and shoulders. Like body art is so appealing to you when you're stoned and high on cigarette smoke and leftover redbull. One of these days i'm gonna get so hammered that i'll probably tattoo Madonna on my arm.

*spasm*

Inside Out

2005-03-24T04:49:00.000+08:00

The last entry is kinda shocking to most i think due to the fact that noone really knows i'm have this kinda side to me.

-cue laughter-

Since i've just got off work at Zouk and am under the influence of alcohol fumes, tobacco and detergent, i shall now be quite open...

My one true belief is that in this life is the gift of love.
Believe it or not! Its true... We among the entire host of living things on this planet are the only capable of feeling and truely experiencing this emotion. An emotion that gives us at time the only reason to walk on thru whatever storm concievable. It can make us accomplish amazing feats and at the same time incredible pain. Such a gift isnt given to anything else... At times i believe this is the only thing that sometimes keeps us on the path we walk.

Often this makes me believe that my brain was recklessly assembeled out of different parts of other brains... Cynism, sarcasm, romantism, dreamer, realist, bastard and goody-two-shoes all made into one. Confusing aint it?

Call me the friendly neighbourhood schzo... Now showing at certain parts of the island and Phuture.

I dream very often... and the realist part of me doesnt like it. Recently i have also hoped for dreamless nights. I do not have pleasant dreams period. Dreams of death and ghosts, to feel what its like to pass on isnt pleasant.
Other times i just daydream, thinking of what if, should or why not. Some people say its a good thing as most gifts to humanity ahve come from such dreams. But somehow the realist part of me just keeps suppressing my thoughts... hence, if i seem to be in a daze and do not notice you when you pass by please make yourself known to me... I often am i a daze due to my brain conflicts. It doesnt take much to say hi...

Well... i gotta stop here... project calls...

Lychee Martinis and Flaming Lambos Pt 2: Conclusion

2005-03-21T01:22:00.000+08:00

well..... its been about two months since i started work. Can't say i'm happy with my performance. True... i've got about most of the cocktails and drinks down but my operation stinks.

I wanna learn as much and as fast as possible so i can help out... just doing orders and washing glasses isnt much of a contribution in the workplace.

Next week is Hell Week... four consecutive days of work... If i survive i take it that there is something called a guardian angel. Which kinda brings me to my birthday thingy i was planning. It seems things have taken a change for the worse today... it being Bloody Sunday and all... got in a real big argument with my father which really makes me question the point of any celebration during this period of time. This is a guy that really knows how to make you feel like excrement. Maybe i should just work then and say to hell with 22.

Thats my age this year for those who dont know....

Pardon me if i dont have any comedic outbursts in this entry... i really cant seem to find that cynical humor in me at this time.

To make everything just collapse.
She is seeing someone.

So i guess its back to fading into black and inhaling cancer causing agents....
I have religion no more... maybe i should do a Constantine...

Its kinda idiotic too as i didnt make any move whatsoever just being content to sit on the sidelines and seeing her happy. What a nimrod i am.
i dont even have her number. All i have is her MSN and the occasional short chats we have. Well.... it would've been a one in a million chance anyways... Fugeduboutit.

Looks like today is pretty bleak... at least i made her happy for an instant... so i've secured one less metre in Hell. Kinda makes me wonder what the hell am i still here for? I'm just wasting my time... lets give it to somemone more deserving yeah?

"I dream the crow black dream where thoughts bring me to the land which i never was,
Will i forget the person who is me that was?
Angels have left and the light does fade from the neon cross,
I dont believe in the spirits but the part of me unknown still stays till the last."

Lychee Martinis and Flaming Lambos Pt 1

2005-02-01T01:22:00.000+08:00

I dont know why i'm doin this blog entry... I havent done so in such a long time...

I know some of you may want to know about what happened when i was in 'Nam... but i dont feel like bringing that up. Things that have passed shld stay in the past. Its not to say it was bad nor was it a wonderful experience, but it did show me certain points about myself that i've come to reflect upon whenever i drift in my thinking.

'Nuff said... I have a new job and hopefully i will be sticking to it for the long term. I'm a bartender in training at a certain well known clubbing establishment... Its tiring, hectic and oh so time consuming but i do enjoy the company of the bar crew.... I can say that i've been pushed in my training coz i now am able to mix lychee martinis and flaming lambourginis without having completed my training in housepours and mixes... even my seniors are worried that i'm being pushed too fast... but hey, beats washing glasses the whole nite thru... The hours are ohhhhh sooooo long... i am there practically 11hrs a day...I dont think i'll ever go there on my off days or ever... sick of it already...

And speakin of work... i am totally bewildered by the stuff i see there. Guys.... PLEASE... dont make yourselves look like idiots for the planet Duh...the raging need to fornicate or make out doesnt give u a right to act like morons... The stuff i see u do really makes me amused/ashamed. For one.... if u wanna start a conversation w a lady please do not show her how low your IQ is please. If she's drinking a Ribena... NO MATTER WHAT, do not ask her if its an alcoholic drink........... Its a drink for kids for God's sake... Its pretty obvious since she's taking the drink directly from the bottle...

Secondly, if u think u dance reallly cool... pls think again...
The act of steering a bus is NOT a form of dance, and well... random spasms in hope of trying to get it right occasionally doesnt work. I've seen trained monkeys dance better to a pipe organ that prance around with more rythmn. This is precisely why i don't dance... I have feet that do not recognise commands from the nerve central... So i rather leave the clown act to the professionals in the circus where it belongs rather than on the dance floor. IF u wanna dance... please have the guts to take lessons... Its not embaressing... even i do it... although i should say i have the rythmn of a 300 pound gorilla.

Lastly, the drink u order isnt gonna impress no one... KNOWING what you're drinking is much better... chances are you wont end up being dragged from the dance floor at closing time. Ask the bartender about the drinks, its ok.. we will give u our attention and make u a drink that u'll enjoy. Don't go up to us and ask for a whiskey mix and ask what to mix it with... at the same time claim that u only take whiskey... If u really do, then what do u need us for? You dont need to throw your cash around to show that u have it.

Went shopping with Song the other day... WHAT THE HELL has happened to Topman???????? They used to have such cool Tees.... now... its all the stuff for Bengs. Everything for men now are practically catered for the Bengs... where are the simple but nice T's and shirts? Now everything must sport a huge brand motif on it to show everyone what brand it is and how expensive it is. If u wanna be a advertisement billboard go be a Nascar... the guy fashion here is really pathetic these days...

To be continued...

Last Hours

2004-11-16T01:46:00.000+08:00

In 12 hours and 40 minutes i'll be on a plane for 'Nam... feels like taiwan all over again...

Got my stuff packed in 2 bags... can't believe how poofy clothing can be... Hopefully my check in luggage is under 20kg, I had a go at it earlier... doesnt seem heavy but then... The last time i did the test myself i was ovr weight by 10kg. :p
But its basically all clothes... a coverall, 2 tank tops, a pair of worn jeans and my poncho and sleeping bag. The heaviest items are the poncho and coverall. My poncho is like made out of material so heavy it could be classified as kevlar.... looks like something you would use to protect a tank against small arm fire. And my coverall.... Its juz v heavy cloth that looks protective but couldnt last 5 secs against a car battery... Its just 18 days, and i look like i'm carrying mor than when i went to taiwan. Crap.

I think i have everything. Passport, clothes, toiletries, medication accessories... yup... everything should be there. But i still get the nervous moments coz i always feel i'm forgetting something. I hate packing for trips. I wish i could just buy everything i need at the place i'm goin and travel ultralight. Whats there to pack? All you need will be there... That would make things so much easier.

My cat's at her former residence.... I'll take her back when i'm home. I'm now worried for my fish... Ok... to you it may seem trivial compared to my cat... so what if a fish dies? Go get another one... Uh uh... not unless your fish costs you like 4 digits... no way am i risking that. Hope things will be fine when i'm away.

Friends wise... I've informed all who should be informed already. That is IF they were listening to what i was saying... hahaha... I'm such an unimportant person... oh well... I dunno if i'll frequent the net there coz i dont have much to spend and i need to buy some beverages on the way back so....... i will have to hoard my cash as much as possible and let loose at the DFS. HAHAHAHAHA.

ok... time for some personal time, i will see everyone back on the 3rd of december and of course many more times in that month.;) Farewell to myself and ciao.

All i Want.........

2004-11-15T01:01:00.000+08:00

If i don't make sense please forgive me... Its 1am and I'm just blabbering away...

Its a simple question ain't it? All you want... What is it you want? If there was anything that you needed to have above all else what would it be? Yet things as they are make such a question as complicated as chinese algebra without am abacus.

Have we lost the simple contentment of life? Must we have it complicated and always aiming for higher? Hell.... is there even something called contentment in the dictionary of everyday life? We can never seem to be content with anything, things could always be better. But we never think how things could be worse. Yes.... things can be worse than they are now... there are people much more screwed up than us that find our way of life downright godly...

I dunno what you want... But i get contented easily. A comfortable place i can rest my head everynight, 3 square meals and my ipod fully packed to the brim with my selection of songs and i would not ask for more. Although my answer to the question would be a different answer. All I want is to be able to feel a certain way everyday. That alone could sustain me as well as any life support. But well.... we all have wishes... whether or not they com true depends on, i guess, your luck. somethings do happen some don't... its knowing when something happens thats the tricky part.

Runaway Train

2004-11-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

Its been a veryyyyyy long while since i made an entry here.... these days been regressing v much into my "bottling-up-every-god-forsaken-thing-that-happens" mindset.

Listening to "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum and at once i can relate to the poor sap that penned down the lyrics for this sonnet. Its the point at where i havent a clue where am i coming or going... I'm just hurtling through time and space aimlessly, everything is like a blur, and i cant just slow down. At times yet i feel like a madman... as if all this isnt really happening to me but to someone else... And i can say that it isnt a good sign. Yet i still am able to duct tape myself together and just continue with my life which to me is a remarkable feat in itself. Maybe a few years earlier i would've taken the easy way out like someone i knew and did a swan dive off the 13th floor of some building and left some unremovable bloodstain on the concrete somewhere. Thing is... I dont really care for that now. I'm like... "Oh hell with it... Let's just continue with the road for the hell of it." Or to words of that effect...

Now let's talk about happiness... I'm curious on this. Has anyone really experienced true bliss? What is it like? I think i've smelt its scent before but never really tasted it. You might think i'm kidding, since i go around with that maniacal grin and hypermental imagination. Very far from that... I have the same crap all you guys have. And i'm totally jaded to violence and tragedy... That might be the common thing now since everyone is killing each other virtually nowadays or slaughtering large throngs of animated sprites that represent people. The Haung Na case? Barely struck anything in me.... up to now i still don't really give much of a shit about the tradgedy rather i'm more interested in how the murderer did it... now thats plain morbid... Do not worry, I'm not goin to be the next Ted Bundy... I still have a conscience and reason. I may have a problem relating with pain and all but i'm not about to go psycho.

Maybe i need a vacation away from it all.... Not like the time i was in taiwan. This time no politics and no civilization so to speak. Maybe thats why i decided to join up with the SIF to do this volunteer work in 'Nam. To be away from it all and doing something that really affects the world no matter how miniscule it is. Yea... its the lame 'ol "I'm-making-a-difference-in-the-world" thing. I have no illusions that what i'm doing will help the ppl i'm trying to help much. I'm just gonna be doing whatever i can and hope for the best. Its also kinda pressurising coz basically u are to them saints... Appearing from nowhere in particular and extending a helping hand. Its almost like something you would find in a movie.

Alot of ppl ask me why am i doing this. Do i enjoy helping ppl or am i juz tryin to impress... I know noone has asked me the latter but i know many are thinking it. No... I do not enjoy helping ppl. In fact helping ppl more often than not doesnt make me a very happy person. I do it coz i have a soft spot still. I get abused when i ofer help... not verbally, you should know what i mean... Like when you're helping someone pick up something and they then shove a list if chores to be done as well in your face. Yea... there are times i wanna ask them to fuck off.... but then if i dont help sometimes... who will? This totally clashes with what i have talked about earlier but its true. As a lecturer of mine once said... I'm an enigma... A puzzle of a human being, once you finally think you've finally figured me out i throw in a big monkey wrench in the works and totally destroy the image you have of me. Hell.. some of my friends have known me for 8 years and counting but i dont think they've managed to have me figured out yet. Even my parents cant do it... hahaha

But that's the irony of things in life. I've met someone that i cant ever figure out too... Sometimes it almost like we're both the same, stright split down the middle. But now there's this wall suddenly between us... Did i do something wrong or have I struck a chord somewhere coz the person has definately struck a chord with me. I kinda feel defensive towards the person too... maybe i'm just plain scared and so is the other party. I have no clue. I'm more concerned why this is affecting me so. I dont really give a shit to this kinda thing. Now i'm practically tripping over myself thinking why things have come to this stage. Its also kinda hard since both parties are pretty much not willing to come forth and make a definitive move. I dont really have much of a vision on this coz i have little of a chance in hell anyway. But i do not want to spoil things as they are over it. Ah well..... the universe has its own way of unfolding. We'll see when i get back.

If Men had wings and bore black feathers, few would be smart enough to become crows....

2004-11-04T21:33:00.000+08:00

Just some lyrics that i can't get out of my head...

"Don’t look don’t look the shadows breathe
Whispering me away from you
Don’t wake at night to watch her sleep
You know that you will always lose
This trembling
Adored
Tousled bird mad girl...
But every night I burn
But every night I call your name
Every night I burn
Every night I fall again
Oh don’t talk of love the shadows purr
Murmuring me away from you
Don’t talk of worlds that never were
The end is all that’s ever true
There’s nothing you can ever say
Nothing you can ever do...
Still every night I burn
Every night I scream your name
Every night I burn
Every night the dream’s the same
Every night I burn
Waiting for my only friend
Every night I burn
Waiting for the world to end

Just paint your face the shadows smile
Slipping me away from you
Oh it doesn’t matter how you hide
Find you if we’re wanting to
So slide back down and close your eyes
Sleep a while
You must be tired...
But every night I burn
Every night I call your name
Every night I burn
Every night I fall again
Every night I burn
Scream the animal scream
Every night I burn
Dream the crow black dream

Dream the crow black dream..."

Yes.... I've been watching The Crow again... :p

Till I Collapse

2004-09-19T11:28:00.000+08:00

I havent had time to do alot of the shit that i'm supposed to be doing...

Havent updated or did up the links for my comic blog... havent finished up my projects waiting in the wings nor have i done the planning for the food for my vietnam ITP... Yes, you heard me correct... food... I'm a cook slash construction worker slash fundraiser to be.

SCREW IT ALL

I just wanna say "F**k off" to everyone around me. I don't wanna do ANYTHING.
Leave me on some desert isle in the middle of the pacific ocean with a large knife. Thats all i ask. I wanna be away from people. No friends no loved ones nor irritants... Juz me, myself and I.

Yes, I'm in very black mood. The kind that'll turn you colorblind and erase all humor in you.

Ahh yes... FUCK EVERYONE.

Have yourself a nice day Asshole...

Believe in Angels....

2004-09-07T22:33:00.000+08:00

There's alot of sadness around me...

Somehow... i forget all my own probs and try to help those i can instead. Before you call me some sorta saint, lemme say that i aint. Maybe its the lone wolf in me that prefers to be the one to be with all the probs on my shoulders than the people around me... Hell... reminds me of the song "My friend Misery". Kinda sums up quite alot about my state of mind.

We are all stuck here in this time, place and plane of existence. No matter how we get piledrived into the ground i believe that there is some sort of peace for all of us. I'm not referin to the afterlife... but a peace that we are granted for our brief time here in the world of the living. We all might often see nothin but a tunnel of darkness in which we travel thru for our journey thru life but... there's a light at the end of every tunnel and no tunnel is without end. Its the same with everything. It cant rain all the time nor can there be an everlasting night. Somehow we will drag ourselves from the dungeon of our making and breathe the fresh air. I'm not the best person really to talk o these matters as i'm often a detainee of my own prison. But i still have a glimmer of hope that at least as i still breathe there is a chance that the next second of my life i could taste true happiness or the coolness of relief on my forehead.

At times i really wish i could have a sign that an angel is watchin over me... but i rather think not about the matter too often. To always look for a hope can lead you deeper into into the depths of despair. Hold that faith with you that you arent alone in your trials and press on thru the hail. The fact that you are still standing tall is proof that someone is indeed watchin over you, be happy for that.

Now i know it sounds funny for a non believer like me to be mentioning angels or guardians... my friends probably would be like... "Since when did you have such a religious like side to you??? " I dont blame them. No one is an island, and its at the darkest points of my life when all hope ceases to exist and darkness engulfs me that "someone" or "something" will give me a pinhole in my cell and give me relief in a thin ray of light in the dread darkness... I prefer to refer to them as angels as thats what angels do arent they? A sense of romantiscism too i guess...

As Blessed Union pours over my speakers with "I Believe", i feel better in some way... I do still hurt in areas many of you dont know. And i still bleed and stain the floor with my blood. This song just seems to have that effect on me with the lyrics... Its not religious like many other songs of hope... but its realistic. It instead places hope on yourself... not on angels or god or any other deities. But on our individual selves. What YOU believe makes all the difference in the end. If we all believe in a dream it will come true. However if only one person thinks of a nightmare we cant do squat. And thats the brutal fact of the world. So we can only do the best we can for ourselves and the ones who matter. Take a chance and believe...

Man, this is one of the most... soft things i've ever written. Normally i would take the comic look on life's tragedies or whatever it hurls at me... But today i guess i just wanna look at it for once in the way that it is. Its not a brutal In-Your-Face kinda world... Its actually quite soft... i have no better word for description sorry. So look at the night sky and look for a star... Its normally in darkness that light is at its brightest and most beautiful...

Peace guys. Be happy.

Sedate me please!

2004-08-24T10:52:00.000+08:00

Another day... another morning of strugglin to haul myself from the comfort of my bed and into the unbearable light of day... I cant remember the last time i had a nap or slept before 1. Ok... I'm an old man... I cant stay up like i used to... before i could have been up till the first rays of dawn, now.. i can barely keep myself from fallin off my chair and snoring on the floor.

Bad news... Even cigs dont work... they keep me awake for that extra 5min or so... so yea... even nicotine cant cut it anymore. Do i need a rest? YES! Had to rough it out on the train from dover to pasir ris nearly the entire of last week to settle my friend's marine stuff... Help to pick up coral and LS and at the same time place orders for my own tank. Even the weekend was busy. Couldnt find time for a catnap. I envy my Chloe... she falls asleep anywhere and anytime. I dont have the luxury of that anymore. will any kind soul pls drug me on sedatives or tranquilize me sometime this week? I would love to be knocked out for several hours comatose to everything....

Ok... not so good or bad news... I have more jobs... Now i have a confirmed Sunday tuition session at simei in the mornings and someone has approached me to help in buyin fish. So i guess my weekends next week will be mostly paya lebar on saturday evenings and simei on sun mornings. which leaves me free only on sunday after lunch. Like where did my saturday go?

Anxiously waiting for next month where my cash comes in.... i need to get wasted one more time. I'm becoming an alcoholic dammit... Seems the only time i really feel refreshed is the night after a good drinking session with a touch of nicotine and a sprinkling of good music accompanied by a side of good company. Its good to finally be able to catch up with everyone and juz have fun at some pub and drink till i look like a boiled lobster. The feeling is soooooo damn good!

Speaking of which... i got invited to Europa by my war advisor... Tryin to round up some able bodied personnel to raid the place on the 4th of sept. Heard last nite its also awfully close to another friend's birthday too.... so...... I'm not really sure which one's a go... both look to be a good time in the making. Let the heaven's decide on my fate... Am i meant to get majorly wasted? We shall shee.... Wahahahahahahaha

Arghhhh.... juz found out i need to get some formal attire for presentation on the 14thor 15th week of my term which is about a month away... Like since when do i do formal? I dont have a clue what to do.... HELP! SOS! MAYDAY! And no jeans either.... Are they pushin me to suicide? Its gonna be a sight to see me in a long sleeved dress shirt and pants w leather shoes and tie... The guys will probably laugh their heads off at the sight of the redneck in formal... *shudders*

Thats it... Like i neeeeeeedddddd a dose of Zoloff... Medic... medic....

Heck's ever widenin' hole

2004-08-18T21:58:00.000+08:00

Just finished puttin away the last of that mess that called itself pasta... DeliFRANCE has a france in it for a reason, they do not do italian.... I had no idea what i was eating back there... cheese and some weird vegetable with cold pasta. I will never eat that again i swear~~~

Have you looked around you on the MRT and take a good look at the people inside? I did. And i realised i'm sittin in a freak show... Like how often do you see someone who grows his goatee on his neck? What's up with that? Went over board with that last face lift or your genes forgot where the hair was supposed to grow from? Or are you juz too moronic to know where a goatee is supposed to be?

Then we have the "Dressers"... These are the people who think they're leading the fashion culture when they in reality are the "Most Wanted" by the fashion police. I've seen middlegaed women wear colors that would make a blind person mince and cover his eyes... And guys wearing trench coats and cowboy hats tryin to look like the Undertaker or cool to a certain effect.... I've seen scarecrows look better and cooler lookin bovines.

There are the "Hey-I'm-trying-to-be-young" old people too. I'm not against them trying to look youthful... but please have some common sense... if you're 50 odd... please dont try to dress like you were 18? I went blind temporarily when this old lady walked by in this jean hot pants and bustier top and jean jacket.... Cellulite was everywhere... I could see men flee from her as she lumbered thru the train... What did i do to derserve that?

The last are the plain weirdos... dress like mental patients and look like keith richard's clones... Do not make eye contact with these people. You have been warned..... So next time when you take the subway, do look around. You will be surprised.

Well.... I've been selected to go to 'Nam. Got the good news today... Have a meeting next month about the work we'll be doing there. Somehow i don't feel that thrilled even though I want to be in this trip.

My friend asked me what kinda dad i'll be.... which is a very interesting thing.... will i be a disciplinarian or a godsend to my kids? My friend asked me this when i was playin/torturing her son... "Will you play with your kid like this?" I was.. YUP. But yet i have that disciplinarian streak in me... I think i would not hesitate to use the rod if my kid acts up. And yet i wouldnt hestitate to fool around with them like monkeys. I know most would say they wont hit their kids, and are now probably givin me the evil eye right about now... But think about it. Look at all the kids nowadays... I see 6year olds teasin their parents/grandparents and giving sarcastic answers to them. What the hell has gone wrong here? Kids are misbehaving openly and we all seem to not care or have no clue what to do about it. To me is if words dont work then i guess you gotta use some corporal punishment. I'm not sayin you should beat then about the house and break them like some ogre.... no... i mean dispense with it sparingly and at the right amounts. Only if my kid pushes the envelope will i spank him/her... if not i will probably be foolin around with them as much as time allows me too. I love kids... being an uncle/grand uncle to 9 kids (at last count) helps... But now i dont see them that often anymore except during CNY or some important family gathering. I dont even recognise some of them anymore.... which makes me want to treasure the times i have with my kids during their childhood.

I would be the dad that would take them out for outings every weekend and the big monkey that entertains when i get home from work. To give them whatever i can and enforce strict rules at the same time. A dad to the bone as someone put it....

AVP is out! I need to catch that movie. Too bad we all know the ending... Its just too predictable. But hell... the new shit looks cool. I wanna see the Aliens and Preds finally duke it out. Anyone with me?!

Retrospective

2004-08-16T00:42:00.000+08:00

I smoke too much.... But due to losing my not so slack lifestyle, I've come to rely on nicotine to hold me in the land of the living. Addiction has set in, yes, i'm an addict for sure... Cant believe i did 20 sticks yesterday... What is wrong with me? Must beat this addiction... i shant bring any cigarettes with me to school tomorrow. Go partially cold turkey... how i could see Song laughin at me now... hahaha

Ok. I think i shall bask in singlehood and leave women alone... I'm kinda enjoyin my new found freedom. And when i hear about my friends' relationship worries/problems i feel so much relieved that i do not have such issues in my life... life is soooo much less complicated when you're alone. Thats coz u dun need to care about another person's feelings and needs.... It would kill me to be chained up and caged.

As for thang.... i think i need to, as in mat terms, go relac one corner... I know he doesnt mean it but i cant understand the things that he does. Hiding from me will only make things worse and make me pissed... And well, the certain hypocrisy is makin me irritable. I was at fault for bottlin up so now i need to relax... cant wait for next saturday's kayaking.

Tomorrow i should know about whether i'm selected to go to 'nam or not.... should be a good trip.... i'm lookin forward to it provided i get selected first. It doesnt help that i blundered by sas=yin i forgot all my first aid back in NS. But that was 2years ago... the only thing i recall is how to fireman lift the guy to safety.... i failed my arm sling test... ended up mummifyin the fella with my F.A.D....

Have class at 10 am tomorrow which means i gotta wake at 8.30am... gahhhhhhhh...
might as well kill me and get it over with. Its a monday dammit... you dont give morning class on a MONDAY. People die more often on mondays due to stress...shouldnt that be kinda like a warning sign? And i'd probably sleep thru my "moral" class. What do you want me to learn? I have the understandings of morals but i juz dont use them.... who does anymore? C'mon... theres a reason why we dont see more mother theresas or gandhis roamin the earth. Morals in today's society doesnt really work. It'd be better if they taught us some "Art of War" or some war like craft to slay business rivals in the future.

Man... the songs i recieved last nite were good. Now addicted to "Joey"... added it to my handphone's card... will most likely blast it tomorrow morning in the train and disturb the workin crowd... hahahaha.

Up, up and away~ Part II

2004-08-15T03:12:00.000+08:00

I think i have reached to the point that i have drunk till i have gone beyond high... i feel surprisingly clear headed after a shower and unfortunately very awake... and i have to go out early tomorrow morning... Gahhhhhh

The band at walla wallas was good as usual... that will be my usual haunt from now on... hahaha. I love that place and the bands are really good. The company was great too... Time passes fast when you're having fun. Watto was as usual... comical to the max... and held his liqour surprisingly well.. even though we like demolished that entire bottle of tequila.. Carpe Diem to all... we may have not accomplished anything in life but we made ourselves happy. Thats all that counts. Be happy guys, we are what we make ourselves to be.

got my 1st sunburn in like 5months... but it feels good. I love the activity... kayakin is someething i really miss...

damn... i look like some long beach chilli crab... i will end here for now till i regain full control of my fingers...

Anytime Anyplace

2004-08-13T17:03:00.000+08:00

Its a good feelin when you pound someone into submission without even the use of physical force... Thats like the best victory you can possibly achieve, the winning of a war bloodlessly and nothing better knowin that you crushed your enemy with but your mouth... or in my case... words...
This all couldnt have been done w/o my allies. And my war advisor who takes special mention, "Thanks babe! i would've stumbled a few times there if you werent there to give me a slap on the head when i needed it."

The weekend is here again... and yet i dont seem to be free... my weekend is like FULLY booked since LAST weekend. I need to be booked like a month beforehand now... hahahahahaha. I have alot of catching up to do with the guys of ye olde guarde... Hopefully tomorrow nite we'll all be laughin away like cellmates from IMH and doin our Singapore Idol impressions along the streets of Holland Village and gettin our collective asses locked up for the nite... hahahahahaha. I'm already shakin with laughter as i type this out... maybe coz i havent been this happy for a long time... i have friends, a bitchslappin handed out, a new pet and all the vices of man... hahahahahahaha... except for gambling though... We have too short a life to engage in philosophy or any other time wastin affairs.... Juz seize the damn day and throttle that muthafucka...

Recently the comic blog thing has caught my attention... and well... brings back memories of the old personnel of past. I still have our old sketches of our old comic that was forever stuck in concept. Till in the end we split... I had since done concept work for 2 more series... The 13th and Fear... wonder if we could ever get back together and maybe get one off the ground? hahaha... Get in the leagues of Spawn and Batman and all... that was our dream wasnt it? I wanted to get into the States with our brand of comic... hell.. we all had a grand dream.

Been doing some drawin of late... my hand is rusty dammit... but i'm gettin it back slowly. Feel like doin a comic blog of my own.. But it would have to be R21. hahahahaha... or at least parental advisory advised... My photoshop 7.0 is beckoning me... *must... resist... dark.... urges*

Hmmm... are some women sooooo full of themselves that an invitation for a group outing is called a date? Hellllllooooooooo.... Anyone at home? You are obviously orbitin around Uranus now. Get a life biatch... I'm not desperate and you aint exactly Venus in mortal form... I would seriously dropkick your pathetic ass over tampines mall if you start gettin such ideas in your head. Does not talkin or lookin at you mean anything? Well, if that spells out love then i think i'm passionately obsessed with another 3 billion odd people... *Looooooosserr*

feel kinda bored... maybe i shall do some cooking. Something to pass the time till that 300 pound silverback gorilla trips over me again then its Miller time... Anytime... Anyplace... No mercy... *cue evil laughter*