Friday, March 19, 2010

Careless

I will not fall anymore.

I have found what it means to be me again.

Monsters be damned... Angels abandoned be damned.

I deny it all.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Ugly

Are you ugly?

a Liar like me?

a user of a lost soul, someone you don't know.

Money is no cure, a sickness so pure.

Are you like me?

Are you ugly?

We are dirt,

we are alone,

you know its far from over.

Look closer,

Are you like me?

Are you ugly?

Turn a blind eye.

Why do I deny?

Medicate me, so I die happy.

A strain of cancer,

it chokes the answers.

Are you like me?

A liar like me?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

This is the future .... soon...

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS


Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: _________________________

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Date: _______Time of departure: ________ NOT to exceed: __________ Time of return ___________

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer _______ Wine ________Liquor ________Total ________

Locations to be visited
Location: From: ____________ To: _________
Location: From: ____________ To: _________
Location: From: ____________ To: _________

Females with whom conversation is permitted * ______________________________________________
__________________________________________________ _____________

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: _____________
Request is: APPROVED / DENIED

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times. ………………………………………................................... .................................................. ..,.

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date: ____________ Time of departure: _____________

Time of return: __________________

Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: __________________________




this form is for the girls....?????


APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS


Name of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife: ____________________________________



I’m going out.



Signed: (me) _____________________________

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My Darling

If i were to talk about the crap that's out
That's the route you probably want me to take
Cuz your just dying to know what i think
And my take on some other people
If i was to say something about so and so or that that
You'd probably crap in your pants coz i'm like "fuck this, fuck that"
So i'd be unleashing verbal hell on yadda yadda
nope, i'm actualy cool and relaxed kinda bugger
But, but, But....
But i don't compete with nobody
I just go hard do the rope a dope ali shuffle
And dance around my opponents in donuts
Sometimes i play possom like I'm asleep it's awesome!
I'm like a sleeping giant and when i awake I'm like tyson
I just jump from outta no where and bite prey
And sink my teeth in and fill em' fulla poison
And make a noise like a snake before i kill em'
And let em' know i just don't feel em'
And smack em' with the backward hand called the bitch slap BAM
I was taught if your gonna murder somebody you should face em'
Tell em' why look em' dead in the eye then waste em'
And the dark shall emerge from the firey depths of hell
And swallow the shallow the hallow who dwell
In the shadows of all who are willing to sell there souls
For this life of a game and it ga ga goes.......

123 check,check 123, check 123
That aint the hook now follow me
There's nothing else for me to say
People adore me!
Everybody bores me they're just so corny
So at night before i sleep i look in the mirror
The mirror grows lips and it whispers come nearer....

"Ios i know your in there some where come here
Talk too me sit here pull up a chair why don't you cut your hair ha ha ha
Dye it back come on try it"

Ahhhh No i told you leave me the fuck alone will you!

"But I'm here to re-build you"

But i already killed you!

"But Ios we were meant for each other!
Think about your ex!"

Yeah so what of her ?

"Think about what she did to you and your life!
All the shit she put you thru!"

Fuck you motherfucker! I had you beat!

"No i was playin possom remember i let you and cherlyn blossom
I gave you enough time, your souls mine, im taking it back!"

You fucking bitch! why ?

"Because i love you look a little closer... Isn't that us in that picture?"

My darling, I don't ever want you to leave me my darling
You and me were meant to be together my darling
And if i can not have you then no one can your my darling
Coz i posses your soul, Your mind, Your heart and your body

"Ios listen you hear that ?
They're calling for you, i can bring you career back!"

But i don't want it back,

" Yes you do!"

No i don't!

"Yes you do! You're gonna regret it later.."

No i wont!

"I'm gettin Song on the phone, I'll just call the Songster

Go ahead i already talked to.. Song yesterday

"Well i got him on the phone right now "( Clint? )

You're lying ( Hey Clint? ) How ? Why? Now ?
Whats up Song ?
Check this out Clint i gotta talk to you
I dunno it just seems like ever since you got off your ass
you became alot softer!
But Song! All Ios is, is a bottle of hair dye and vodka!
Well just think about it Clint, I'm here!
Just hit me back and let me know what's up ?
Fuck this mirror! Ahhhh!

"I'm not in the mirror I'm inside you let me guide you!"

Fuck you! Die you son-of-a-bitch!

"Put the gun down!"

Bye bye!
(*gunshots* )
Ok im still alive!

"So am i too! You cant kill a spirit even if you tried to...
You sold your soul to me need i remind you ?
You remember that night you
Prayed to god you'd give anything to get that life? Well Zouk took you!
This is what you wanted your whole life Clinton right boo?
Look at your room! Look at your friends! I'm so nice ooooh!
Oh but you didn't know that fame has a price too ?
That your just now seeing the downside too!
Lose your good friend from secondary school, your girlfriends too!
Aint even sure if your friends like you!
Come off work cant even sleep at night without a drink
Think of the alcohol addicts start a rehab cycle
But together we can break the cycle
Clinton?"

WHAT!

"No ones gonna love you like i do!"

Monday, November 24, 2008

Impotentence

What has become of society...

I sit up and think of it at night sometimes.

you see... there's a fine line separating civility and cowardice. There was a time when we knew what was wrong and weren't afraid to say it.

Now... its just "impolite" and "rude" to tell someone what's wrong or right.

Hey, i can be a polite guy... i can be the perfect gentlemen if i want to. But with what the word is today... how can anyone be? Thats why we've become the way we are.

Gandhi was a skinny ass anorexic... but he had the guts that would put one of our "tough as nails" machooooo commandos to shame. So what if you've got the balls for a fight. You can face the enemy but not the auntie that cuts in line and shoves some pregnant woman out of the way for the space. Does anyone speak up? Oh goodness that would be sooooo rude... just let her have her way and pretend it was a fart in the wind.

Where's our Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Malcolm X, Thomas Jefferson and so many others of the past that were true men of our time?

Just like our previous fart in the wind....

Every generation... we've become better and better.

in being cowards.

Its acceptable to stand in people's way when they're exiting the train or bus. Its polite to not give up your seat to the eldery or pregnant or shove for a space in a queue.

its rude to point out someone being obnoxious or just plain behaving bad.

what gives?

Saturday, November 08, 2008

We're most in danger of......

.... our moral stupidity.

Yes... not Osama, not Bush, not Mas Selamat and not your Mother-in-law.

Whats that you might ask.

Its the complete idiocy of human beings to do the right moral thing that our parents had hoped hours of moral education in school had instilled in us.

well.... if you haven't fucking noticed.... it hasn't worked.

For a sad fucking example:

I was on the bus the other day... as per usual... it was like being in the rush for the watering hole amongst a bunch of dehydrated warthogs. That aside.. a heavily pregnant lady was unfortunately without a seat. Now a quick lesson in bus terminology... the GREEN seats are for the eldery, weak and those who need it eg. the very pregnant lady carrying an armful of groceries.

Now, this guy who got on the same time as me had shamelessly plonked his donkey fucked posterior in the only green seat there. this was a guy in his late twenties who was in his physical prime... not a sign of a deformity on him. Why is he sitting there???? well... he got up...

Just as you're about to applaud and call this a happy ending... he gets up............................. and this skinny woman just drops into the seat like a fecal bomb from a large canid. What the fuck?! As i sigh and shake my head she has the cheek to ask what did she do wrong............. my brain just went OW. Ow. Ow. Ow.

This is the crap we're doing everyday. Now don't try to deny it... we're all guilty as sin about this.

However being polite is good and all, but when it becomes such that we are afraid of speaking our minds.... its another crap problem.

Thats for part 2 of this...

Is the happydrunk back? Maybe... you tell me.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Quote O The Day

"It has been offering itself to Babbington."

Funniest shit i've read in a long time. Unfortunately was read in a bus load of peoplewho started staring.